Rattle On.

FOLLOW ME HERE PLEASE? :D im no longer here!

2011-07-04T19:44:00.000+08:00

http://myohsocalledblog.blogspot.com/

I am no longer here! I have a new blogspot link :)

2011-06-27T17:20:00.002+08:00

http://myohsocalledblog.blogspot.com/

Cheers :)

Life lessons #himym Season 4

2011-05-24T11:15:00.004+08:00

Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty
good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I
thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily
have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for
it to happen and I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm
going to say on that subject.

Stella: You know how I talked my way out of a speeding ticket?

Ted: Really?

Stella: I was heading upstate with my parents, I was doing 90 on the country
roads. I got pulled over. So this cop, gets out of his car, swaggers
over and he says, 'Lady, I've been waiting for you all day.' And I
said, 'Sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could.'

Ted: For real?

Stella: No, it's just a joke... I know that you're tired of waiting. And you
may have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And
she's getting here as fast as she can.

2011-05-24T09:21:00.000+08:00

#Mustwatch - Friends With Benefits

Lit through the darkness at 1.58

2011-05-22T23:18:00.007+08:00

"And just when our lips touch so tenderly.. touching my cold paper thin lip, And your warm arm calms me in a way, our fingers entwined, my head upon your chest, your heartbeat against my ear, and how you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something. Can you feel my smile?"

#lust

I don't really know where to stand

2011-05-16T21:13:00.008+08:00

And for the first time, I don't really mind where we are heading.. you know maybe somewhere or just nowhere. All I know is it's really a fun ride. Crazy ride

2011-05-04T15:07:00.007+08:00

"A playful relationship.

Someone I can mess around with. It doesn’t have to be sweet 24/7 with me. I need someone who knows how to laugh. At me. As well as themself. Where we make fun of each other as much as we love each other. I won’t mind because I’ll know that as much as we joke around, saying that we hate one another, we only do it because we mean that much to each other. And we know that. For some reason, that makes everything else we do okay."

and

"An asshole kind of relationship

The relationship where me and my significant other likes being mean to each other, (sarcastically, usually.) Make fun of other each. But in the end process we get laughs out of it. Truthfully. I don’t want clingy ass relationships where you say, “Omg I love you so much etc etc, every 5 minutes.” I’m so tired of that. It’s also weird as fuck now considering one of us doesn’t feel the same way and could be lying.

I just want a flat-out different relationship, but in the end we still like/love each other. Since I’m pretty much an asshole, I want someone who can keep up with me, be an ass back

I don’t plan on doing any lovey dovey type like you see in the movies.

Reality is different from movies, we all want different things. But don’t get me wrong though. There’s always room for lovey dovey here and there."

Late update of my Graduation Ceremony

2011-04-24T21:29:00.008+08:00

Err I dont really have much pictures during dinner. And I guess this is the only one.

Pfft HAI my blog is seriously dead now. I don't really know why I dont have the mood to update like really, what is wrong with me? Time dulu2 exam mati2 mau update blog although masa tidak mengizinkan and now I have my lifetime now to update but I refused to do it. Waiii Megaa?

I'm just goin to put some photos that they have tagged me on facebook, so yeah :) Credits to them for all the pictures here.

Well to my classmates, I'm gonna miss u guys. 2 awesome years with you guys had taught me so much. I will remember every silly crazy funny mad and you-name-it things that we all did. Its been a wonderful years with you u guys. I'm hoping for the best to all of us, for our future although we may not end up together. My prayers and love will always be with you guys! <3

I know this is a one lamest post,XD

Nothing much but

2011-04-03T13:39:00.001+08:00

I just love how my hair looks like in here :-)

Maybe 21312983192831 is better than one.

2011-04-03T09:21:00.020+08:00

I know I have few times of day-out with my friends but it's picture-less :( but well I guess today is your lucky day my blog cos Nicole and I had nothing to do or buy actually (literally), and so we snapped around :-) It's kinda like a lets-shop-till-you-drop kind of day to Sera and Ekang since they have to buy stuffs for the graduation day and I'm as usual lazy to think of what to wear and planned to just grab whatever in mom's closet. Planned to buy any heels or flats on that day but nothing really pique my heart, so I'm just goin to wear kebaya and hope I'm gonna look awesome-still walaupun berlemak keliling pingang lah kan? Hahaha okay back to this post, im just gonna upload the photos so that you guys can take a look of it :-)

Nicole and I were like busy with our phones, literally.. and both of them were busy shopping. I kinda sorta feel like those guys you dragged to go shopping with, it feels awesome pula kena tny2 opinion and all but we're not buying anything. Hahaha But the good thing is we get to hangout la, lama sdh nda jumpa ekang kan specially. I seriously wish suzai would come cos I wanna talk with her. But indapa lah, graduation day jumpa juga, and the rest as well :)

:)

Dear Cadbury and Kinder Bueno,

2011-04-01T21:13:00.007+08:00

You people should really stop producing chocolates, or if possible do not sell them around KK. I can't stop eating and buying them since last Friday.. Um was it the day before Friday?

It's my anti-depressant and it makes me feel awesome btw :3 I feel awesome but this is beyond insane. Consuming 32984324384932472897 ml of chocolates per day, darah tinggi aku bos. And makin obese Y__Y

2011-04-01T20:13:00.007+08:00

"I could have met you in a sandbox, I could have passed you on the sidewalk.. Could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away?"
JohnMayer - Love song for no one

Dear no one,

:)

So

2011-04-01T19:39:00.012+08:00

"Hi,

I dont know if I like you. We initially mocked and cursed out of nowhere with no reason why. We talked about almost everything although we're being an asshole freak to each other, but the weird thing is that I enjoy your company. I like it when we are being totally mean to each other sarcastically, make fun of each other but in the end of the process we get to laughs out of it.

I guess its the sense of humor makes my longing feeling is whole.
Back to first sentence of this essay,

maybe I was just lonely, and you happened. That's all."

Greetings.

2011-04-01T17:46:00.011+08:00

Hi, i kind of sort of urm change few things in this blog, if only you notice. Changed my font and the header,and idk what else. Well I never knw how all these things really work on blogspot not until yesterday, when I kinda explored em. So yeah the reason im typing here is to see how my thoughts would look like with this new awesome font, lol.

Anyways, Hai! I've been MIA and been screwing twitter so much and tumblr too,but less at blogspot and facebook. And look what I have found, :3

And I wonder how our kids would look like.... Hmm.

Oh sorry, it's the voices inside my head talking. Back to what I'm trying to say here.. I guess I'm goin to just make this post very long.. well, we'll see how long.

What am I up to? Aish, mcm besa la. Jobless, and there are times I feel like I'm dying. The wait for our intake is insane dude.. So I came up with so much ideas on head on what to do to waste this time I have but still, the time flies so friggin slow. Enough with that, at least I survived until today.

The reason I am not so active in here is because I don't have new and awesome photos to share in here. But I guess I'm goin to put some, old photos or random photos or whatsoever just so that my blog would look awesome a lil, although not 100% awesome as usual. But still awesome.

candidly candid and perfectly adorable picture of us :)

We will be having our graduation ceremony next week, I hope I can see them, it's been so long and I miss them! Well at least we get to meet before we're fleeing ourselves to somewhere or nowhere for studies after that

I guess I'm done. This is the longest I could, my writing mojo is seriously missing. Gonna update more after this I guess.

Bye.

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room.

2011-04-01T11:39:00.008+08:00

Never knew how easy it was to moved on, it took me overnight actually but pheew that was easy... and quick. Keeping it all over by myself for months and get rid of it only for a few hours was magical. I guess when a guy told me that he likes someone that you know is a total turn off. Well technically he's not telling me but I can tell.

3 months and I'm not sober.

Was supposed to post this last month but I forgot, Lol.

Anyone knows someone who can play and sing like this? :P

Wake up in the morning not feelin like P.Diddy

2011-03-19T16:59:00.004+08:00

Instead,

I wake up in the morning with pimples on muh face~ -.-

NEWSFLASH!!

2011-03-19T14:21:00.015+08:00

This is probably the happiest thing that happened to me so far! Well I guess its nothing big for u but IT IS TO ME! Click to enlarge and.. let your brain do the 'math' and link it all up together ;D

Yes! Aizat Amdan replied my tweet!! I bet some of you might, err tu jak pun ko mo hepi? Who cares la dude, yg penting saya bahagia! hahahaha :D out of all his fans pny tweets, he replied mine. I've been a fan since the very first time I heard his voice and song, and I am so him since then. Paling obses sdh la sama lagu dia "Cintai Diriku", and all his songs la. I guess this might sounds pathetic to you guys, I tweeted him almost everyday before this but he never reply and not until today. I kind of "unprivate" my twitter cos Farrah asked me to and It is odd actually that i was moved to do it (since HEY its Farrah, i dont listen to her:P).. anyways, He's been such an inspiration to me and thanks for replying!! It means so much to me, It's like you've been rooting and supporting him from far and had no idea with your existence and he replied your tweet although it isnt much. Happy la baa :P
It's a sign for an awesome days awaits me ahead. 2011, give me all the goodstuffs in your store.

And yes, I cant stop tweeting and floads my timeline with annoying tweets. Hahahhaa Well an hour after that I decided to delete them cos I might sound sick to people who is viewing my twitter page so yea, I leave this 3 seja la. To make it not-so-obvious that this actually made my day :)

#conversation w farrah

And I realised that I'm into those who sings and plays musical instrument specially guitar awesomely and beautifully.

LOL XD

Im a happy kid now :)

2011-03-18T22:52:00.010+08:00

I am kind of sort of into red and pink recently, but I guess I am more attracted to red compared to pink.. well depends.

But heck YEAH yellow and grey are still my fav, dont worry :P

Kiut kan? :))

And I even bought a case in red and pink-ish heartshape sticker for my BB.

I'm gonna buy more red stuff in days to come :)

Oh crap

2011-03-18T16:01:00.009+08:00

Im so sorry for abandoning you my blog! It's just that I'm not so into typing and bragging now. I'm gonna update as much and as frequent I can to at least make this place looks...alive so yea :) I dont have pictures actually I guess that is one of the reason why I am so at lost of what to talk about. Besides that I am more to what you called, not-so-into snapping around? Its just that i have kind off sort off lost that mojo pf mine cause only-god-knows-why. I guess I need to feel brand new, its just that I dont know where to start.

Ok let me brag about my forever obsession. I've been so madly truly deeply in love eversince I was idk how old I was. I am completely drowned and it feels as if im suffocated along on every word he sings each and everytime I hit my Media Player's play button. Seriously. I've been forever his fan and I dont care if yr playboy or heartbreaker, u stole my heart dude. Hahaha

I'm talking like a serial stalker, which I am actually, hehe.

I love him, and recently he accompanies me on my every lonely night when I can hardly sleep. Yes my insomnia leads to a “Mayer Moment” and it was magical.. It means so much to me, John. Hahahahha ok I sounded err sick. But yeah, its like all the loves and likes I had for him is rushing back to me without me knowing. It happened..... LOL. I love all his songs ba! He sings and says what every girls wished to hear from a guy. And yr beyond awesome for that. Marry me, I mean it.

Looking at his black and white picture makes me er yknw hav to mood to snap a black&white pitcure of me too :) <3

Although I love u, I would want to say dat its stupid dat u n taylor split up :(

I am still sane while composing this post, FYI :)

Now what?

2011-02-28T21:11:00.004+08:00

Well right now is just a kind of phrase where I dont go lusting or crushing over anybody, so yea I admit its pretty dull. But its normal actually cause this thing is like a cycle, there are times where you go lusting over someone you'll never ever get and got so excited over the top when he threw a simple glance at you. And there are times when your feeling is obviously mutual towards all humans around the globe. Well the cycle is back to square one now, yes square one.

Talking about results, not that satisfied actually and I couldve done better. But life must goes on, at least I get to enter U with that result la. Not gonna dwell and think so much about it. I shall move on. I must move on.

And what's major here is I still dont know what I want and would want to take up next.

Lame much.

Another one.

2011-02-28T19:14:00.011+08:00

I guess its really your lucky day that I finally miss this blog. I mean like I miss posting crap, and extra lucky here that I finally have the mood to snap around with my baby Nikon after abandoning him (Oyea it's a him) for so long.

Ok, i just want to rant about this little creature that I accidentally lay my foot on and the feeling is... unexplainable. I am not a fan of bug like obviously, so yeah this lifeless bug traumatize me and my foot, in a way.
@#$#%$^*&^%$%T^$#*(*I

If you have 11 cats, you'll be seeing different kinds of creature on your balcony specially on the next morning. I mean like normally you'll find cockroaches as in odd cockroaches that you'll nvr gonna see around your house, dead birds, lizards, frogs and all of that including odd insects. This isnt the first time I saw this kind of insect but its just odd and its headless
AND IT MOLESTED MY FOOT, in a way.

Anyway I feel like randomly snapping my babies since I havent got the time to snapped them around like last time. So yeah :) But not all of em are in the pictures, MIA ntah pi mana.

Not really good with taking photos of them, besides that I'm in a rush to do something, so its kinda like 15 minutes photoshoot session. We'll be doin it again somewhere around the future, only-god-knows-when.

Oh this lil big baby on last two frames is my 9year-old cat :)

U guys, live longer and healthy ok :) <3

Actually....

2011-02-28T17:25:00.007+08:00

I've been bed-less for 2 months already. Yes bed-less as in I'm not sleeping on bed since it's broken into two, great.
My dad went into my room yesterday to check on my bedroom window to see if the lock is still functioning and all since our neighborhood isnt really the safest place anymore(cause neighbour's house been robbed few days ago)
So yeah.

And I've been hiding this bed for couple of months, not until yesterday.
He was like
"Why dont you just tell me!? So all these while you've been sleeping on the floor!?"
......umm
"I'll buy for you one tomorrow! Haih, like homeless people only."
"NOOO I DONT WANT A NEW BED! I JUST WANT THIS BED"
"How you goin to sleep that way? It's like half of your body is being pulled and the other way is still up. You're goin to fall to the floor all the time"
"I've been sleeping on the floor.. with the mattress. Its comfy"
"............seriously?"
"I dont know, Just call anyone to fix it! I love this bed"

So yeah, cant wait for it to be fixed XD
It's not that I dont want a new bed.. but.. Idk how to explain it, sayang ba ko buang barang if it can still be fixed.
I dont know what this to you people la but yeah, I cant just throw stuff away and I dont know why.. XD

AND no, not because I'm too heavy that the bed couldn't support me OK. Lol XD
It's because of the lil kid I babysat last December.
Yes she's really really really hyperactive and talks waaaaaaaaay too much. She jumps here and there and asks waaaaaay too much too.

This one.

Seeing all her pictures with crazy and adorable poses make me miss her even more :'(

Day 18 : Your Beliefs

2011-02-25T20:46:00.013+08:00

My one and only Almighty God of course. There is no God Except Allah S.W.T and Muhammad is His messenger.
I dont believe in superstitions, horoscopes, lucks. I'm trying to believe the existence of destiny and fate.
I believe that animals and humans are of equal value. You have no right to harm just because you think yr capable to. Life is life.
Everything happens for a reason is just crap.
Sometimes, things just.. happen.
Soulmate. Although I havent found mine yet, I belive that there are someone out there who would want to accept my flaws and things that I never like about myself.
The one you're happily with right now is unnecessarily your soulmate.
I believe that my cat understands what I'm rattling about when I have no one to talk to.
I believe in bad karma. Good karma never happens to me, just yet.
Commiting yourself with a bunch of famous people who dont even know or care of your existance.. Yes, sad.
PEACE, no war.
Lust at first sight, its never... love.
Being evil, sometimes you have no choice.
I believe that no human can judge another. We're trying so hard to be different, but at the end of the day, we're just the same.
I believe in good intentions, but I doubt it at times.
I believe in education as the only way to better people’s lives, and the lives of all.
And yes, love's unexpected.

I guess these are the only thing I can think off right now.

Day 17 : Your Highs and Lows of this past year

2011-02-20T21:20:00.003+08:00

My past year was...2010.

Lows
- Since it's my exam year, so I guess 2010 is a less-goin-out-having-fun kind of year to me
- Depressed for some reason
- I fall for the wrong person
- My all time favorite crush moved away, LOL
- I got C for the first time for my midterm for History.

Highs
- Forum Competition, state leves. Sweet Memories :)
- Met a bunch of awesome people, my classmates
- Still stay in touch with my bff
- Get to drive for the first time after having my licence ovr a year n half without driving
- STPM ended

Just telling.

2011-02-19T22:18:00.006+08:00

Maybe I'm continuing my 30days Challenge in vlog version. So much easier, ill just spontaneously talk and.. talk. Well maybe for some challenge and when I feel like talking instead of typing. So yeah :)

But my friggin laptop just crashed so I guess I'm gonna borrow sis's laptop (if only she let me) So yeah, an update if only I am able to go online.

Neway, wish me luck for Monday. Time flies friggin slow when you're counting every seconds and minutes to it. I'm scared but the cant-wait-no-longer-to-stay-on-waiting-for-the-day-to-come conceals my fear, kinda. But heck yea im terrified, terrified on what would it be like. I did everything I could, but I couldnt remember if it was my best. Apa-apa pun, tawakal saja lah :)

But honestly? I'm scared.

OMG!!!

2011-02-18T18:35:00.004+08:00

You guys knw jg kan I'm really a sucker for acoustic cover around youtube. So right now
I'm gonna share this awesome video, i mean like I fall in love with him at the first click! His voice, his cute adorable face, aih. I downloaded his songs right away. He is my type la although I said i have no type. Hahahaha omg knp gete ni dtg skg? I guess I'm just so friggin nervous about monday but I have this guy as a distractions.

I am imagining him singing or serenading to me like yeah~~ :')

Ahhh enjoy :)

I love you dude! <3

Day 16 : Your Views on Mainstream

2011-02-16T22:27:00.004+08:00

I am having hard time to describe this. Because I couldnt care less, I mean like I don't mind mainstream music. I listen to whatever I like and mainstream isnt always my choice of music to listen. But to be honest mainstream music sometimes suck but I really dont mind cause they are milions gazilions people around the globe and music isnt supposed to be about one thing that YOU like, it has to be about what OTHER people like too. So yea, if I dont like those, I'll just switch to other frequency. I admit there are some mainstream songs that I like. Example, its like you are driving and suddenly there's a song randomly playing on the radio, and it speaks for you're feeling. So yea, I would automatically googled about the song and rapped my reply button till I got bored of it. I mean like, I am okay with mainstream (I'm saying this because I dont really think its fine to post any hateful thoughts or commentary when it isnt necessary) To be honest I dont like Justin Bieber but I dont mind with his existence. I will not mock him unless he did somethin that I find is.... disturbing my mind, heart and.. er idk.

I'm definitely not a snob, and when it comes to music as long as it makes me get up and dance or amazes me in some way, or made me go "awwh sing this to me please" and such, I love music. It accompanies me through my sad emo nights, my happy out-of-nowhere-cause-of-hormones, my nervousness knowing-that-result-is-nexweek kind of day, my sleepless days and many more kind of days.

In conclusion, I like all kinds of music and not necessarily one genre. I am open to new songs and types of music. If you have a favorite song right now please share it with me, I would love to try out some new songs.

Have an awesome day viewers :)

Definitely maybe.

2011-02-16T01:15:00.007+08:00

Maybe I should start constructing a short term and a long term goal in a list so that I can actually achieve somethin. Be something or somebody in a better, wiser and mature way. I cant stay on with the same old thinking and attitude of me since I am 20 already. Gotta go out from my same old shell. I always have this negative thoughts of me not being able to do or achieve anything.. and I just realized, why not working your ass off striking down the impossible, like now?

Day 14 : Your earliest Memory

2011-02-16T00:39:00.005+08:00

If you people really know me, yes you'll know tht i have trouble with my memory. I mean like I remember stuff but i can hardly recall em back in order. My earliest memory, lets see.. i guess it all got so mixed up with other memories so I guess.. yeah. Earliest memory, i think my kindergarten years. I have a best friend named Mark and we went to the same kindergarten. Besides that he lives around the neighborhood. Funny thing is that we held our hands wherever we go, I am wondering why on earth we held hands like LOL. Oh yea our moms are like bff, childhood bff. So I guess thats why I am so close with him. I remember I used to play with him all the time instead of playing with other kids. -.-

Ahh, how I wish I know where he is right now.

Day 13 : Somewhere you'd like to go or visit

2011-02-13T00:52:00.004+08:00

For now, I'd love to say Korea. It's because I've seen so much places through their movies, dramas and shows. Like seriously, my sister and I would wanna go there someday.

Second is italy, I'm interested with their buildings and historical places since im taking History as my major for stpm. I mean like I wanna see Colleseum for real, I wanna touch Pantheon for real. It's like whatever you've read from the 4 thick history book is right infront of you.

This is the place that I will go, insyaallah. I mean if I have enough money. Id love to bring my parents with me. Makkah :) It's not really on top of the list yet, cause I have to be completely ready for a change, a total devotion to religion as in wearing tudung and all. It wont be nice if I go there and all and I'm getting wilder n stuff. You know what I mean. Not at the nearest time but somewhere around the future, insyaallah =)

Day 12 : Bullet your whole day

2011-02-13T00:24:00.019+08:00

Ok, Lets begin. Today is Saturday, 12th Feb.

I woke up around 9 ish, Thalia's text woke me up asking if I'm able to make it for a meet-up with my long lost best friend Yoon Pui Ling, and Michelle Debbie too.
And nope I couldnt, still feeling oh so worn out from yesterday outing with Farrah. My body aching, and the legs too specially. Recieved a text from Yoon too not too long after that.

'House chore cleaning' begins around 10-ish. Cooked meal for my cats, clean the house whatsoever. Everything ended around 12 plus.

Prepared "breakfast" at 12 something and clean everything up after that. Plans to go out with mom cancelled.

Around 1.30 - Multitasking, Reeading newspaper while watching American Idol with sister. Found really interesting news, a youth on a car crash on front page. And I found out that its my friend. Texted him to be sure if it's really him, and its pending. Checked his facebook, yep its him.

Got so freaked out, called Farrah & Shadel. Decided to visit him, farrah couldnt make it cos she's working.

Around 3-ish we are on our way to SMC, before that went to Tong Hing, bought apples and apple juice for him. Reached hospital idk around what time.

5plus, at yoyo. With Shadel, had chocolate coconut cube and a chocolate kuih, idk what we called it. Chit chatting, catching up, whatever we called it.

(I look dogo but shadel bida-er so I dont mind uploading it =P)

Reached home idk around what time, bath and helped mom with dinner, feed my cat and all. 8pm, watch tv3 news.

Watched Korean dvd I borrowed from Shadel called 'You're beautiful' till... 10.

And i've been online since... now.

Day 11 : Put your ipod on shuffle & write songs that pops up

2011-02-13T00:24:00.016+08:00

First of all, I feel extremely bad for not continuing my blog journey for the 30days challenge, so yea I'm trying my best to catch up with it.

1. Ft Island - Love is
2. Gio - Getar Hati
3. Edward Chun - Give my love
5. Parachute - Under Control
6. Coldplay - Fix You
7. Mblaq -Cry
8. Natural Woman - Mary J Blige
9. Jae Joong - For you it's seperation, to me its waiting
10. Kim Tae Woo - Dreaming Dream

Cloud 9, it is.

2011-02-12T23:15:00.011+08:00

I never actually know what I really want for myself, in fact I am still learning about myself which I totally find that I am made up of 101% of crap. They said listen to your heart but I dont believe my heart sometimes. So yea I'm gonna rant some here about what I want for the time being. No harm bah juga kan so yea.

Ok topic..?

For what I shall take up in the future. I have always wanted to be a news anchor. Yep quite surprising cause I NEVER actually tell this to people around, well I did but just sometimes and not much.. I kinda find news broadcasting is....... kinda interesting. Call me lame, I LOVE WATCHING NEWS specially TV3 8PM, and ada few news channel, and I even read newspaper every morning. XD Talking about the 8pm news, I have always imagine myself reporting it LIVE but yeah I guess it's just a stupid dream. Paling best mcm Karam Singh Walia tu. XD

and nope its not because of the influence of Robin Scherbatsky as a "News Anchor" ok XD

This is waaaaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaay cloud 9 high imagination, LOL. I'll drag u back to what I'm talking about here.

This one, Heheh

Kata org tak salah bermimpi, jd biar sy bermimpi lah. With God's will kalau dpt, dpt la. Hahahahhaha >:D

Shadel bilang : Beh, urang tua2 sj tgk ko tu!
(Thanx for ur support ah del) Hahahaha =P

WTFFFFFFFF... i should be freaking out about result.
I am actually, its just that I am having a hard time to show it in a normal way. Zz

Just sayin'

2011-02-10T21:55:00.004+08:00

Saya bukan sombong.

Idk what is the right word to describe this, its just that I feel waay waay more comfortable if people make an effort to talk to me first. Cause I have (as in always) these thoughts talking on my head like "Wth gedik jg ni perempuan" "Erh bida begini pn mo ckp sm aku?" "Bikin panas oh ni perempuan" "Kenapa dia ni mo ckp sma aku?" "Dia ingt lawa ka dia mcm aku, brani mo ckp sma aku?" somethin like this kind of thoughts in my head. Just tellin, cause it's true.

Besides that im kinda an awkward person, depends to who im dealing or talkin with, depends with how they look and react back to me. If they ddnt give me the head-to-toe kind of stare and that annoying look, i will be all chatty and rapping-the-conversation-all-the-way like believe me. im a negative thinker, i cant help myself sometimes :(

I guess i'm deleting my formspring ok.

Day 10 : Discuss your first love & first kiss.

2011-02-10T19:53:00.002+08:00

I wish I have some sort of device for me to erase certain memory completely.. So far I manage to forget a major part of it since I am experiencing a critical disease called 'memory-loss'. Meaning to say that I can hardly remember anything about this topic, so yeah.

If I do remember a tiny bits and parts of it..
I would definitely say that it's a mistake, I gladly repeat.

First kiss? Never Been Kissed :)

Day 09 : How You Hope Your Future Will Be

2011-02-10T17:54:00.009+08:00

My answer is probably goin to be just the same as the "Day 02" answer.

I just want a stable foundation and a career for myself of course.
A loving husband who loves me for who I am, he will stay by my side through thick and thin.
I still have mom and dad long enough to live with me. Insyallah.. Strong family bond between me my brother and sister. Talking about this reminds me of dad keep reminding us to take care of each other when he is no longer around. It's a promise I will always keep.
Children of my own, a house for my family, my own car.

Oh this might sound funny to you la, I have a cat and he is 9-year-old now and i always hope that he will stay long enough with us, you know I want him around when I graduated, when I get married, I want him to play with my kids and be able to be there for the rest of my life. Hehe

I guess that's it.

Day 08 : A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

2011-02-02T21:51:00.007+08:00

I never feel MOST satisfied with my life YET cause I am too young to feel that way.. specially when I havent actually accomplish anythin that I can hold on to in life. I was just about to do somethin cause im still on the starting line. I guess the day will come if

1) I get super duper awesome kickass result for STPM
2) Get to enter U with the coarse that I want
3) Graduated Degree
4) Get a REAL job
5) A career as well.
6) My first paycheck
7) My first house and car with my first paycheck
8) Travel around the world
9) Met The One
10) Hapilly married..?
11) And...kids? Lol XD

Ask me back this question in 10-15 years time (:
I'll give you a YES NO answer for 'are you satisfied with your life now?'

Day 07 : Your Zodiac Sign and if you think it fits your personality

2011-02-02T21:48:00.002+08:00

Never really care about my personality prediction for my zodiac sign so yeah I couldnt care less :(

When someone asks me when I'm going to get a boyfriend

2011-02-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

..and I'll be like “I don’t know, I guess tomorrow when I walk out of my house I’ll just choose one from the swarm of guys that all come sprinting towards me.”

Like seriously. What is so wrong being less desirable? At least I am not as desperate and easy as you. Lol

Day 06 : Write 30 Interesting fact about you.

2011-02-01T01:34:00.008+08:00

I always labeled myself as 'never interesting' so yea ill try to add in on what i know about myself XD

1. I have short term memory.
2. I am short for my age
3. I dont really have any skills or talent I can be proud of
4. I got bored pretty easy
5. I give in too easy
6. I push people away when things get rough on me. I dont want them to get involved
7. I never go to clubs
8. I hope too much sometimes and its eating me apart
9. I always fall for someone who doesnt feel the same way as I do for them
10. I am dady's little girl
11. I never have luck for love
12. I rapped aka talk too fast when im excited or nervous
13. I never got bored of How I Met Your Mother & Grey's Anatomy
14. I enjoy long and meaningful conversation
15. I have a thing for anythin that is in grey colour. That includes guys in Grey T's
16. I dont believe that there is a thing called love at first sight. Lust at first sight? Yep it exists.
17. I have an odd obsession collecting unused things or trash for memory purpose
18. I dont really have specific type. I mean I do have a type but sometimes I fall for something im not expected
19. I am a sucker for acoustic songs
20. I used to read so much.. story books. but since im getting older, i only read what is necessary, and it isnt much. not as much as last time
21. I have 11 cats and 2 turtles as my pet at home (:
22. I find this hard to do.
23. I tend to get nervous, like easily over small things that shouldnt be bugging me, Lol
24. I am self conscious and I dont really have much confident on myself la.
25. And because of that, I always have this negative thoughts clinging on my head
26. I have this weird hobby flirting girls, i mean my own friend. Its not absurd, its just how we show the affection between us
27. I go by the name 'gong' to those who knows me long enough, close enough and such
28. I wish to have '36,32,34'
29. I dont know
30. Bye

Day 05 : A time you thought of ending your life.

2011-02-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

I am never close to that. So yea.

Day 04 : Your views on Religion.

2011-02-01T00:57:00.002+08:00

Religion is something that you hold inside, that keeps you goin in life. Belief in religion do explain some sort of stuff that science couldnt explain, and I am absolutely amazed with how much my religion moved me in every singe aspects in life. And I am proud to say that I am a Muslim, but I am pretty dissapointed with myself that I am not.. more religious im supposed to be. and because of that, im not gonna rant about religion more lah. nnt org ckp nda pndai 'ukur baju di badan sendiri' (:

Another awesome sunday.

2011-01-28T20:16:00.017+08:00

I guess its not to late to actually put this on my blog. I know I always said it shuccks to update blog without pictures but here I go nowadays updating my blog without pictures when I actually have pictures to put in this place. How to say this.. I love words too much sometimes. I can just go on typing till god knows when, compared to picture-ish post that I have to upload first and find something to talk about XD

It was really fun hanging out with these bunch of people, like really. I had so much fun on the outing. We were camwhoring, giggling, eating, screaming and you-name-it all in one day. Its like a roadtrip around the city, its just... awesome XD We do feel like tourist yknow cause we walked around like a tourist with a huge camera on hand, and been taking photos non stop at the street. It feels awkward at first but we got used to it and feel the fun. Haha, well I'll let pictures some up all ze fun! ;D Credits to subai for all the photos.

Staring this two chics, XD

and this innocent looking lady ;)

..and just me. The blondie is just.. props. XD

She can actually be both, photographer and model. Like seriously. she is good!

I guess thats all for this entry, I guess words couldnt describe all the fun, like really. how about next time again? ;D

Day 03 : Your view on drugs and alcohol.

2011-01-28T20:12:00.007+08:00

My view on drugs and alcohol is an absolute no to me.

I might sound so lame that I said no for alcohol, since some of you might enjoy being drunk and all..the fact is that's how I view it since my religion is against it. But im totally okay with it since some of my friends are drinking. I am not goin to rant all over about alcohol since its goin to be a little bit offensive to those who actually drink.. I dont mind but I hope I wont be drinking la.

Drugs = Total idiot who cant figure out that there are so many things to do in life. Like seriously, out of everyhin in the world, u choose drugs? Its wasting yr money for sure. its like yr downgrading yrself and yr thinkin for not being able to decide what is good or bad to do. And some of the teens out there think that its cool to get themselves involved with these kind of thing. Get a brain kid.

Day 02 : Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

2011-01-28T15:29:00.006+08:00

In 10 years time, I'll be 30. I don't really mind where I'll end up staying, in KK or KL or anywhere out there but as long as I have a stable foundation in life, yknow career. I wish to be successful on whatever I am doing, just like everyone else. I am hoping that I'll enjoy and love whatever im about to do for a living, since I will be devoting part of my life to it.

I guess that's all, you'll be laughing yr ass off if I go on talkin about what I want in my future.
Lol XD

Day 01 : Your current relationship. if single, discuss how single life is.

2011-01-28T03:01:00.004+08:00

Single life is good. In fact I've been single since forever, i mean I do have some sort of what we call 'a little thing' with very few people but im not gonna classifies it as relationship.. Cause yknow its some sort of puppy commitment back when I was young and foolish, well in fact it is somethin less than commitment, i just couldnt find the right word to describe it. Besides that, i am experiencing lust and infatuation, its heartrending.. in a cute way. Lol XD

Being single so far is the right thing for the time being. Cause I am looking for a guy who I can keep forever, 'the one' to be exact.. and not those with some sort of expire date on them. And cant seem to bump onto anyone who has the boyfriend material that I am looking for, well actually there is one but I dont think he feels the same way as I do for him.. so whatever. I am not the type who jumps into relationship right away.. I prefer the 'get to knw me n lets be bff yaw' rather than being in a relationship with someone who you barely know. Good thing takes time ;)

Well, Being single is the best thing for now. I am used to this feeling and its nothing big, but there are some sort of longing feeling but I guess im too young to overanalyzed or overthink about why I should be in a relationship n all, im not that desperate LOL He might be wandering around out there. He's on his way. (Haha this last sentence ikut2 how I met yr mother ni XD)

I never had luck in love actually. XD

30 Days Challenge.

2011-01-28T02:46:00.003+08:00

Yep im bringing one again here on blogspot, just think that blogspot is a place for me to type and Tumblr is for reblogging n such. I ddnt get to finish the 30days challenge bfre this, but whatever.. im gonna make sure that im doin it THIS TIME.

Anyone, feel free to do em (:

Newsflash

2011-01-25T17:14:00.007+08:00

My muffin is a success! >:D
Ive been practicing cupcakes and the sponge cake tastes okay, so yea ive moved on to muffin. My first attempt was a failure, I am having hard time to differentiate what is butter and mentega .. and the funny thing is that butter and mentega is a same thing. Butter is mentega, like seriously. Lol.
I use planta, sorta thought it would work. but nah, First attempt ; a failure. My muffin turns erh really wet on the papercup and tastes aweful. And yea, my brother was LOL-ing at my odd muffin -.-

Second attempt, failed too. I sorta thought that all flours are just the same. Nope they dont. and idk, it ddnt mix well with the strawbery cheese mixture that Im putting. So yea, it coagulates to a semi solid errh substance? Failed.

I almost gave up with muffin, I lay down on the couch and staring into blank spaces on the ceiling.. the light to be exact. Trus... teringat Teacher Muhammad with his same old Thomas Edison jokes about giving up. LOL thats the funniest part, out of nowhere muka cigu Muhammad and his jokes showed up. -.-'

3rd attempt was today, afternoon tadi. Jadi lah jg, it tastes okay XD

Well yeah, it looks like how it supposed to look like on the internet XD But it didnt 'raise' well, its because I only place a little amount of the dough in the cup. So yea I guess thats why. I am seriously a sucker for cakes with fruity taste. Just imagine how I go hyper and got addicted over Farrah's mom mango cheese cakes. T_T Yea anything tastes like strawberry and orange and mango seriously taste like heaven. Sorry for the low quality picture, im using my phone to capture this.

Oh this is, chocolate cheese strawberry muffin (:

Once upon a time..

2011-01-17T10:06:00.019+08:00

I was supposed to publish this post couple days ago but I guess I accidentally pressed 'save to draft' , so yea. But who cares cause Im publishing it now (:

I saw this piece of paper in the middle of reminiscing a few incident that made this story book below looks like its... erh rotten? XD

It happened 5 or 6 years ago.. It all started when I borrowed a new story book from Thalia. I guess she havent read this book yet when lend it to me.. I guess its because I was being so annoying like farrah 'I want this book thal i want that book please me first!?' =P Hahahaha.
Okay subjectively saying, yea I admit that I am a pretty clumsy person and very i-dont-really-know the best word that can probably describe me well on this situation.. You know, ill be like so nervous out of nowhere and out of place that everything around me would fall to the ground and I forgot to do this and that.. Its like I am the best at screwing the most simplest thing that isnt supposed to be bugging me. and at the end of the day, I'll be cusing myself like hell for having this kind of... attitude. Urm I guess lets just call it flaws instead of attitude since it is not my brain talking or doing.. it just happened naturally. -.-

Back to the subject, it happened at the state library when I was re-filling my bottle at the watercooler and i cant seem to remember what made me rush out of nowhere.. And yep I simply put that friggin pink Nike bottle in the bag without even realizing that I didnt rotate to tighten the cap of my friggin pink bottle. - if you get what im trying to say. So yeah.

All my stuff are all-the-way wet, including this book. I was so friggin scared, terrified and feel so so so bad that I wasnt even able to take care of MY BEST FRIEND'S STORY BOOK. I keep mocking and cursing myself like soo bad 'WTH WHT KIND OF PERSON AND FRIEND ARE YOU!?!!'

So - I walked to karam with Farrah right away (is it? or the next day?) and bought the exact same book, and return it to Thal without even reading it - Cause I feel bad.

I told her about everything and all she said was "Huh? why dont u just tell me? U dnt have to buy a new one" -.-'

And yes I still keep this old rotten book although all my friends asked me to throw it away right after apologizing over my clumsiness. I guess old habit (keeping rubish for memory purpose) will never die.

Hahahahhaa. omg memories XD Anyways, back to the first photo, reading that made me smile =')

Omg muka dulu2 T_____________T

And this is the latest us :)

Thank you for participating in my life, and I feel so lucky to have and found you.
And yeah I will always remember our promises! Go travel around with our fiance (I hope I will have one in future. Bahahaa) when we get ourselves a real job. Theres so much promises but not to be reveal in here. Hahahahaha! >:D

Friends Forever ok? :)

x

Just cause.

2011-01-15T00:31:00.009+08:00

I am surrounded by happy people and I feel so alone at times for the disparity of emotions that I am having. Well, I am perfectly fine and grateful with everything. I wasnt being emo for some sort of things and theres nothing gigantic that I can dwell of, I am fine. Its just that im in the mood to rant about whats on the inside, yes. Its yr lucky day my blog :)

Back to what I am saying, yeah I am surrounded by happy people, and I feel so tiny that sometimes I have to laugh, smile and cheer along with them on what makes them happy. They are so lucky that they have bigger things in their box that makes them so excited about every tomorrow and I have none.. Mine is as-always empty.

Honestly saying, I am sincerely happy for them.. its just that I have come to one point that I do realized that I have been cheering for people about their happy things in their life. But I never get to cheer for my own. It is cause I dont really have those things that they have.

Its like I have to cheer for my brother that he is what my mom and dad hope him to be, I have to be happy that people around me are always smarter and I am just.. the same, I have to be happy that my friends are happy with their very very perfect guy, I get to feel amazed that people get to choose or decide things for themselves about almost anything, I have to cheer people for their talent that I wish to have but I dont, and I have to be happy that everyone get to smile prettily, happily, joyfully,. Well theres so much more that I am happy for, but for once I just hope to be happy for myself.

I honestly admit all of these things do make me feel bad but I am used to it actually :) Just telling. And no, dont get it wrong. I wasnt being selfish. This is just another ranting session.

Its like im in a sea of people but I still feel so alone, its like even if im laughing gigling like there is no tomorrow but I am crying on the inside.. you know that kind of feeling?

I guees I am done.

Gotta watch few more Mblaq Idol Army.
KTHNXBYE :)

This is my period talking.

The Pretty Reckless.

2011-01-14T21:51:00.002+08:00

You don't want me, no.. you don't need me..
Like i want you, oh.. like i need you.

and i want you in my life
and i need you in my life

You can't see me, no.. like i see you
I can't have you, no.. like you have me.

and i want you in my life
and i need you in my life

You can't feel me, no.. like i feel you.
I can't steal you, no.. like you stole me.

and i want you in my life
and i need you in my life

Note to self.

2011-01-14T21:33:00.004+08:00

Go ahead, text him first, he might be checking his phone, waiting for you.
Stare into the eyes of the person you like and memorize the color.
Turn on your ipod and run as far as you can.
Say hi to a stranger, you never know what they’ll become to you.
Have a mental health day – you know you need it.
Don’t go on facebook for a day and see what you can accomplish.
Give money to a charity, your good karma will come around eventually.
Sneak out, you might get caught, but it’ll be 100% worth it.
Tell that one person that you like them, what's the worst that can happen? he doesn't like you back? Then he doesn’t deserve you anyways, right?
Treat yourself to something indulgent, you deserve it.
Smile at a stranger, it could make their day.
Wink, it’s sexy and makes you feel confident, after all, you are pretty hot ;).
Go for somebody who is totally wrong for you, they may not be totally wrong after all.
Stand up for yourself, because if you don’t, who will.
Moral of the story is it's 2011, start living your dream life that you've always wanted, after all..
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

Im too lazy to name this post.

2011-01-11T01:30:00.007+08:00

Since I have dady issue that he doesn't allow me to actually get a real job on this cruel and dangerous world outside, I actually have plenty time doin idk-what for myself. Well I kinda sort off enjoy my routine, cause.. i mean it was okay for me. Its acceptable, rather than staying on bed for the whooole day consuming fats around my gigantic but cute body.

Anyways, usually I'll be up early in the morning and send off my sister to school, and then Ill jog around Tmn Rimba after that (If i tida lazy lah.) Or if somethin comes up ill just jog on the evening. But if all else fails i'll just do some light workout but I doubled it - for an hour. Skipping, cycling and dumbell-ing at dad's mini gym at home. I must sweat in a day, like MUST. Its in my new year resolution XD
Later den, ill be cooking for the rest and for my 11 obese cats at home. and after that ill take my sister from school aaand there the house chores to-do-list begun. It was tiring like hell.

I am just trying to earn money but I couldnt come up with any better idea. I mean yea money isnt really the problem and I can just ask dad for it, but the thing is, im 20 dude. Does it nice to look like a spoil brat asking money this and that from dad? NO, dude. So yea my brother suggested me to actually bake and sell em off, or start teaching kids around the neighbourhood again like what i did 2 years ago. But for now maybe im goin for the first one. Since I will ended up downgrading myself to their age whenever I am with kids...

I was so frustrated actually that i planned to go for a baking class somewher around kk at first but then I found it that the place was closed. So yea I thought the idea was off frm the list. But then again, last sunday while camera-surveying with my family in karam, farrah's mom actually called me and asked me to go some place to learn how to bake. I was like wth i wasnt mentally physically emotionally prepared for baking. After purchasing the new baby [Canon550d!!!!!!=D] I was kidnapped to a place and quarantine for hours.

So yea my plan is to sell out cupcakes but I guess i am goin to need some practice first. And after im okay with cupcakes, i wanna learn how to bake muffin and cookies. I guess I am done ranting, photos =D

Oh yea I made that =D

Cute kan the colours? but it isnt as neat as I wish it to be. Practice makes perfect. I am an amateur baker, so yea :)

Anyways, welcome home new baby! And yep since my brother knows best about all the gadgets, he decided to pick Canon over Nikon. Biar la, bad news is we have to share. Sharing isnt that fun, but biar la. I am only goin to use it sometimes since i am busy with all of these unemployed activities XD

TTYL.

I feel like updating.

2011-01-10T10:15:00.003+08:00

Tapi nanti2 lah. Byk juga gambar mo di share but its just that I am too lazy to transfer em all.

Current addiction.

2011-01-01T20:44:00.006+08:00

I am up to few drama jg skg, but top 2 pny list is 'Mary stay out all night' and Secret Garden!!! Tp lemme talk about Secret Garden dulu la ya? XD

Sekarang ni musim angau Hyun Bin ni. So yeah. I am not lusting for his appearance and all, cause he is defenietly not my type - like, at all. Skali bila tinguk dia blakon, kima. makes me wna scream 'GOD I WANT A BOYFRIEND LIKE THIS!!!!!!' Hahahahahha, yeah. Gentlemen gila, and romantic but since ada ego2 dia jd dia gentlemen jerk-ish but i like his effort when he likes someone. gila oh, bgs ko kejar aku la.. lg aku jual mahal cause i am looking forward for moves you could do to win my heart! ahahahhaa Kalau blh, sakit jantung aku ni ba ke-angauan, ke-hanyutan dan ke- segala-galanya la watching this drama. Nasib ada mincai kwn aku excited! ahahahha. Haish, memandangkan tahun baru, God kasi aku boyfriend gini ya? Hahahahahaha! Damn oh, watching korean drama and listening to their songs make you go so dreamy about reality. But i like it, happy ja. Mcm ko sedih2 tp ada imaginary bf, imaginary happy life you choose, imaginary of fun things u imaginary-ly did and somethin you look forward to the next day. Which is >> menunggu habis loading drama!!! Hehe, sad kan? but im happy this way so leave me. LOL mcm pesakit mental ja bckp =P

My point here is... tengok lah Secret Garden. =)

Paling mahal bila Jo Woon (Hyun Bin) jealous XD <3 <3 <3

... bila dia concern and care but ddnt directly show it that he cares.. dia bikin lg gaya kin panas.. :')

and when he annoyingly tried to kiss Ra Im.. Ahhhhhhhh~~ XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah tgk la ni, sy episode 12 sdah. hihi

Entri ini didedikasikan kepada Datin Seri Cik Bang Tok Puan Shadelina Shari.

2011-01-01T19:35:00.017+08:00

Oi! Aku rindu ko ni, apa ni balik diam2? Nasib kau update blog mu, klu nda aku ingt ko stranded di Korea Selatan. Beribu sda comment aku di wall ko nda di reply. Dan memandangkan aku ni mengemas2 folder aku di laptop kerna tahun baru, tenampak la gmbr kau di kala ku merinduimu. Oleh itu, saya ingin mengepos gambar Abang Shadel pada entri kali ini >:D

[Warning : Post may contain gambar2 zmn pascamerdeka si pengepos entry.. dan dirinya sendiri pun tak tertahan melihat mukanya sendiri. Tetapi utk tontonan dan pengajaran semata-mata, indapa lah. ]

Tu ja la, aku mo potong rambut ba ni. Trus tenampak rambut aku dulu, trus mcm mo bikin nih. Org smua sda dye potong apa sgala, aku namau dye la seperti besa. Cuma mau feel brand new, new haircut gitu. Mau ikut si Victoria punya rambut la katakan. supaya Nickhun suka aku jg~ shadel jgn menyibuk ok? XD Aihh buuuut aku tejumpa lg few old photos of us!!! Scroll down for more =P

Hahahahaha! INGAT NI KA?? TIME KO BULI KUCING2 AKU!!? =P

Ingat ni? XD

Dan ingat ni!!? Mengacau privacy org sj kerja kau.. Mau lagi menyibuk dlm gmbr?! Bikin sempit ja, haish. bahahhahahahahahaha!

Bah lps ni, kita undur balik masa. Hmm zaman yang nie na.
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XD Aku rindu kamu dua oh! XDDD

Awwwwwwwww ingat ni ke?? ='P Muda oh kita.. dan dan yg penting time ni ialah pada zmn ketika jerawat batu ku mo kurang-kurang sdah. Hahaha!

Form 3 ka form 4 ni?? Kmi paksa ko pakai dress kan. hahahahaha! <3

Sandi oh, singki tandas libry ba ni kmi panjat. Hahahahaaha!

My point here is........ SELAMAT TAHUN BARU I MISS YOU!!! =P

Anyways, Staga sandi oh style aku bgmbr dulu2. bikin sedar jg nih ba meningu gmbr2 zaman Jahiliah. But yg penting skg nda begitu la, sandi oh. Mengucap aku mengemas2 folder ni. Ada yg bikin heart attack pny posing trus aku delete jo. Knp aku gitu ah dulu-dulu? Hahahahahaha! Anyways Happy New Year to all :) Have an awesome 2011.

Sebelum mengundur diri, terimalah gambar farrah dan michelle pada umur 14 tahun :)

Innocent habis oh!! XD dan barangkali sy pun ingin menyelitkan gmbr pada usia sy 14 tahun.. bersama-sama sidekick tercinta.

Tp shadel pny aku teda, sedih oh. =( Banyak sda attempt mau gmbr dia dari dulu tapi bila suda dapat, dia pigi tarik tu camera and delete. Mentang2 tinggi, dia angkat tu camera tinggi2, kami yg jd si budu yg pindik2 melompat2 mo grab camera dari dia. Kime ko del =P Sekima-kima mana pun lo, gue tetap syg lo. Hehehehehehe >:D Jgn mrh yer <3 <3 <3 Lap yu!

Final days of December.

2010-12-30T22:35:00.015+08:00

It had been a long time since I last posted a proper post in here. So yeah I am doin it today.. right here, right now. What am I up to? Yep just a regular hangout with friends, with thalia, farrah, michelle and all. And I went to some of my friends houses for Christmas Party, I had fun actually. Catching up with old friends and all. But ddnt get to catch up with my highschool friends, it is just sad. Anyways, my lack of update in here is because I dont really have pictures to tag along for the post. I havent been active camwhoring after my last major photoshoot with them shadel last november, and its the reason why i am at lost of what to put in this dull place. I dont really want to constantly come up with a long long post without pictures, its goin to be dull in here. I have been doin some outing with family too.. and my favorite activity to do with them issssss.... ROADTRIP! :) So yeah, roadtrip always comes out with photos and i am obviously excited with it cause I get 'go back to nature' and snap some mesmerizing and breathtaking scenery. Kadang2 bikin sedar jg ba kekuasaan Maha Pencipta.. beautiful calming scenery specially the sunset, sea, lagoon, the forest and all.. Anyways, some photos r up here. Just some yg ada muka ku ja la ya? XD

Us! Not a complete set of Us.

Trip kiut tp nda jadi, sad.

I wanna sit and stare at this for days, i wont get bored. really.

Little army or little gangsta?

Makan time. Gila jo nda sedap sini, jangan pegi.

Adip sleep-peeing, heheheh =P

Btw ddnt get to shoot alot cause an hour after we reached there, IT RAINED HEAVILY. So the 4hours ride isnt worth it. Damn oh, but sokay. Tmr ada roadtrip lagii :) Ah forgot to mention, we went to The Tip Of Borneo, Kudat.

Day 7 : One Confession - But I have a few.

2010-12-29T20:42:00.007+08:00

Hi.

I guess you should change for better. Being socially awkward, absurd at most things, pushing most things away that you're not used to is just lame. You have an odd thinking that is holding you back most of the time. I guess its time to be better, in most things, at most field. Yes Megaa. You should change and feel brand new again.

Kthnxbye.

Hi

It surprises me that you are not there when I need you so bad. When I am desperately in need of someone to talk to when I thought you'd be there for me. When I thought that the sky is falling and there i need you to talk about it. I dont know the reason why, I dont really want to know, not anymore. Its just that, i dont get it how you actually have the guts to ignore me when I am always there for you, and you never want to be there when i need you. You are still a friend but using me only when you need me makes you an ass cause it's obvious. Well, I am a loyal friend. You dont get to use me anymore and I dont have anything to loose. But I am still here if you need me that's for sure. Its just that you r probably out from the list if i were to ask who are those people you appreciate the most in life =)

Hi

Its funny how I still find you attractive although you are not, how I have some sort of feeling for you, how you make me unconsciously hope, how i can actually fall for someone like you. I can’t go on too much about this, though. I know it just isn’t right. I still think about you actually and i always find myself waiting for you although things are pretty awkward between us when we dont really have much things to say anymore. I miss how things were between us.. It feels wrong, but you just pop on my mind and stay until I find something else to distract me. That’s exactly why I avoid talking to you and even seeing you. I give in too easily. Well that’s about it. Since its almost new year and I were about to move on right now. Too bad your in my New Year's Resolution. I am closing the chapter of you.

So yeah.

Hi

I hope you will go through my blog and stalk me, i dont mind. I am 19, soon goin to be 20. Sad thing is that I am not able to make a decision for myself, which is just pathetic. I am not a 5 year old little kid who you used to piggyback and the kid that craves for vanilla icecream when you got back from work. That was me, 15 years back and I get that everything is up to you to make. But right now, i am far beyond capable to think what is right and what is not for me, and I guess now is the time for you to let go the same old picture of me as a little girl with teddybear that i used to carry everywhere. I know you love me so much that I get to have everything i want, even if i want the stars and moon up above, you'll get em for me. But right now, i wanna do things by myself. You dont get to choose everything for me, you dont have to decide anything for me anymore. I am far beyond pissed, mad, frustrated, irritated, annoyed and you-name-it right now.

Oh, I dont want Ip4. Who wants that piece of crap right now, i dont need it.

Too much to ask

2010-12-27T11:50:00.003+08:00

Thought you'd come around when I ignored you, but I guess you didn't take that warning.

It won't be too late when the smoke clears, cause I am still here.

Happy faces of December :)

2010-12-18T23:35:00.007+08:00

The wait for our war to be over is so worth it, finally i get to meet them after not seeing each other for so long. It was a very fun yet tiring outing but who cares. Sampai mengheret2 stand lg bgmbr and in a sea of people looking pun masi mo bgmbr. Yep trip tourist bah, heheheh >;D Paling sandi la in the middle of photoshooting tiba2 hujan kuat time panas terik gila babi. But sokay, at least we get to shoot some and shoot some more at other place. We should hang out more often. Shadel a.k.a abg kime, mmndgkan kau pi Jipun n Korea, kasi beli aku souvinier ok? aku mau snow, aku mau nickhun, aku mau MINHO (PALING WAJIB), seungho and cheondung OK? di jipun ko kasi beli lah aku lelaki2 kiut yg innocent goodboy lookin~ Ko tau jg type aku kan? =P

Anyways, Photos :)

I guess that's all for tonight. TTYL

Who said moving on was ever that easy?

2010-12-18T20:37:00.020+08:00

No, clearly its not easy. Never easy. Moving on from.. a whole bunch of aspect in life, doesnt matter in terms of things that you once love, the relationships, your passion, what you care and so much more. Well im trying to be more specific on what im saying here, its not easy moving on from the routine that you did and been doin it when it occupies you days. I mean its like you have to quit out of the sudden from the 'sleepless days where you have to worry that you that you've overslept, wasting too much time on tv and such' kind of life. I am accepting the fact already that it's already over n be cool with it.. but the hardest part here is when i am sorting all the books, papers and stuff to be given away or to keep. I am having hard time breaking up with them :') Yes. It took me a day to sort em all out, cause i went through em all lg one by one, and even smiled lookin at a tiny doodle i did :)

Ah well i am being too emotional these days.. (well actually mmg slalu pun hehe) So yeah i am planning to keep all my books and its not to be given away.. well if ada yg mo beli tu mesti yg pndai jaga lah~ :) I am moving out from my study room cause i wont be using it anymore, so mau kasi my sister since she's sitting for spm next year. So yea, mengemas2 kasi pinda barang la frm my room.

Messy.

You guys will be safe up here, this cupboard is comfortable :')

My reminder board :) gonna put you down soon.

Ze time table.

My N97 flyer that i took 3 years ago. Planned to get it when im done with stpm. I have always wanted this for forever but tahan2 dulu til stpm over, cos nnt sms ja kerja instead of studying XD But maybe im chainging my mind la..

The studygroup timetable that we planned early of the year, yes its still on the board. Hehe

I constantly look at this when i almost give up =)

And this too.

Not missing this, at all heheh

Sweet victory.

Hahahahahaha menemani ku di saat mengantuk, sakit blkg, perut masuk angin pada malam hari. hahhaha!

P.A files, the hardest one to let go off. too much memories. bljr blk2 pun nda pndai A kan. hahaha malar b.

Treet treet, hehe

Yep my biting habit is helpless. smua pen n pencil pun jd mangsa.

Haha I guess that's all for now, right ya lah lps ni memblog lg ni hahaha

=')

2010-12-16T20:32:00.006+08:00

I am goin to miss you people.. i mean i am missing our class pny atmosphere already. You guys are like the awesomest coolest bunch of people, i will never ever fget you people. Byk oh we have been through together, XD Kamu take care ah semua.. KHAIRI BIN KADIR sila buat reunion ok!! Aku bakar blog ko nnt kalau ko ndak bikin.

Droplets

2010-12-16T17:36:00.001+08:00

I'm leaving you
I'm not sure if that’s what I should do
It hurts so bad
I'm wanting you but cant go back
Trying to find, to find
That all elusive piece of mind
Stuck here somehow
Shrouded beneath my fear
And now I don’t need it

Cause I'm walkin down this road alone and figured all I'm thinking bout is you,
is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain and the world it seems so far away and I'm just waiting for
The droplets, droplets

You left a mark
I wear it proudly on my chest
Above my heart Above my heart
To Remind me that I feel the best
When I'm with you When I'm with you
To me everything is effortless
You know its true
My eyes are painted with regret and I don’t need it

Cuz I'm walkin down this road alone and figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain and the world it seems so far away and I'm just waiting to fall and sink into your tears

You are like the raindrops, the raindrops falling down on me

You left a mark you left a mark
She left a mark he left
She left he left
And I don’t I don’t
Need it. Need it

An odd habit of mine

2010-12-16T15:54:00.006+08:00

I love to keep stuff that people would feel like dumping em into the rubbish bin when they lay their eyes on it. I am not saying that I am rubbish-keeper but I just simply love to keep those “rubbish” for memory purpose.. and not because I thought that it might be useful in future. XD Well it does, in a way.

To me, being able to remember simple stuff from the past by just throwing a simple glance at something random right now will eventually made my day. It is also a way for me to like.. remember things that I ever did, bought, been through, experienced and stuff.. since I am suffering from short term memory. I have tendency to forget things in an instant, so yea I have trouble having a tiny flashback from the past.. Its like when im in a group of my friends, and they were giggling about something that I can seem to remember so well.. those stuff that I keep will actually reminds me of the situation that they were talkin about. They will be like “ahh.. you bought this and broke the stuff.. u bought it and keep it. Remember?” And yes, its how they remind me.. by linking the situation and the stuff that I might keep. =P

there are some things that I keep and I dwell so much and ‘memaki’ about it when I look at em.. cause it reminds me of how stupid and immature I was being a kid, or a teen XD

And again, I love to keep stuff that was bought for me, doesn’t matter like a simple keychain from their holiday vacations, birthday present, tshirt, bracelets and stuff. You wont be seeing me around wearing or using it cause im afraid that I might loose it, broke it or something, so yeah I am keeping them in a place where I called as a ‘drawer for time traveler, back to the past’ XD If ada pun you people saw me wearing stuff that you gave me, I wont be wearing em too long lah cause I like to keep it rather den wearing it. Nnt rusak bah.. I know, its weird. Hehe

So yeah since I am pretty unemployed and decided to actually make startover for myself, I am sorting the stuff that I don’t need and for me to give away.. and stuff that I don’t really need and still want to keep. I started my mission, sorting stuff in my bedroom first. and my study room downstairs at some other day.. oooor maybe tonight. I am updating my weird collections.. And Yes if you wonder the immensity of “odd” I have stated earlier, it includes collecting chewing gum wrappers, movie tickets from 6years ago, tissue, errh recipt, and ada lah..Hehe. I am posting some of the photos. Well this is only a quarter of my odd collections. Take a look ;)

Err.. one of my diary. Gila i cant seem to remember how much i enjoy writing..
Fara ko ingt tu rose ka? hahaha!

Thal's form 2 photo set XD Makes me miss kartik,nana,carmen,grace,chloe,sandy,ky,churl and smua la. our form 2 memories :')

A bookmark that Yoon gave this when we're still in primary 5 =) Never use it. heheh

The small red keychain is a couple keychain actually but it looks cute so Farrah and I decided to buy it since it is soo kiut. begaduh ni kami sepa ambil the lady keychain. Since i looooove her sikit, so mengalah la. I took the dude keychain, dia ambil yg perempuan~ =P when was this?! cant rmbmr la.

the red bracelet was from Tracey if im not mistaken.. primary school XD Pun nda perna guna.

The small korean lady keychain was from michelle ka. she went to korea ntah bila =P laast time. nda perna guna. heheh

Never use em all juga. Heheh >;D

Dulu-dulu time zaman kmi primary school manada hp sms2. Jadi school holiday men tulis2 surat. bahaha! this letter was from my primary school bff, Yoon Pui Ling :')

Friendship day cards, from primary school til highschool pny.

Scrip frm the english drama team that i've joined last time

Hahahahahahahahaha some ex's stuff that I shouldnt be keeping XD

Faraaaaaaaaah ingat ni!? Hahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaah

Atiqah Izdihar Mokhtar! ingat ni surat kah? haha! time darjah 5 ka darjah 6 XD

Suzai I have something for you again, from the past~ =P

Thal!! Cant seem to remember that you actually evr gave me this piece of advice XD

Kartik gave me this.. hehehhehehehehehe XD

Heheheh, odd I know. bah klah
I guess that's all for now, ttyl.

I appriciate those who makes an effot to keep a conversation alive but....

2010-12-16T10:25:00.003+08:00

Not this kind of conversation. It's like yr thinking, do they really yknow.. wanna talk to you or.. idk. I ended up not replying them. I feel bad, but if its just for the sake of replying, i guess its better for you to ignore me tho~ oh well wasnt talking about anyone in particular. Too bad is they are some people that I care and wanted to keep in touch with =)

X : Hi
Me : Oh hiiii. what are you doin?
X : Nothing, online, tv. you?
Me : Oh same.. (err..what else should i type..?) oh how was your day? =D
X : It was great. How was yours?

"....................... =.=' "

Me : Same here, yours was great, mine was only okay! Just had some outing with the
family. I miss you!! We should hang out or somethin.

X : Oh haha yeah miss you too! Yes we will, at the nearest time.

.................

and i ended up not replying them.

Sad.

15th December.

2010-12-15T23:58:00.007+08:00

I am finally done with stpm. I just dont know what to feel, the excitement of being free from it only lasts for a while, i just dont know why. LOL

I guess my feelings are obviously covered with the excitement and thoughts of being free and all from exam. I am shutting myself off and away from what makes me dwell and feel so down about.. and yep I guess moving on is the best way to deal with this. It makes me hope so much and that it feels like i have been punching you over and over on my mind You know nothing about it but i am putting all the blame on you. It's not your fault, its just.. me :)

Ohhhh crap, that is all crap cause I am unconsciously goin to hoping. In a way, i am such a hypocrite. Time will help me deal with all of these. I know I have been acting like everything is all fine and nothing is wrong, i am so so good with it.

Shouldnt be listening to crappy sad songs actually XD

KTHNX BYE

2010-11-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

Just in case if one day you have decided that I am no longer someone you that you will come to at the end of the day..

It means something that I actually mean somethin to you, even if I am the last person you would turn to when everything else goes down, when thing falls out of place, when no one is there for you.

I am saving all my worries for days you dont need me. Just remember me, cause it means something when you remember..

You wanted the best, but it wasnt me.
So yeah, be happy. That is all I ask of you.

Hi!

2010-11-25T16:25:00.001+08:00

Omg I am back here, errh temporarily.. I miss blogging and staring my laptop for hours but since my war had just begun i decided to get myself distanced away from my broadband and laptop. I am updating this using my phone, yep they actually charged it but since I am browsing this using my DigiEasy number and not using my postpaid, so yeah its freeeeeeee, :D only for today lah since I alrdy reached my daily limit whatsoever they called it. Cant seem to understand the plan and i dnt reli giv a damn so yeah. Hehe

talkin bout my current war, 3 papers down and 5 more to kill. So far so good, i hope to kill even better on the next paper XD I duwana jinx it so yeah. This is the only update you'll get about the exam.

life is been hmm ah its not the okay time to actually bring up the topic.. It's just fiine.

I am goin to launch my 'Megaa's Plan' that I have constructed for myself on this 15th of December.. Gimme some more time, i'll get you the greatest story to tell :)

Pray for my exam ah.

May Allah bless you :) have a great day people.Ttyl

Random rant.

2010-11-13T21:00:00.006+08:00

Talkin about 'talkin about how i feel', i just realized talkin it out isnt that helping at all to make me feel better. I guess the old-traditioned way of me keeping it all by myself is the only effective way to win my happy-awkward soul back. well i wasnt being completely happy but its enough for me to fake a smile a get through the day without breaking something :)
I am just like you people.
i have feelings, vulnerable at times, feelin crappy at some point in life.
Talking about it when its taking over yr emotion isnt a brilliant idea, i'll eventually regret it on the next day for feelin helplessly vulnerable over it on the day before.

I am really trying to conceive life in the very best view I can now. =)

Please dont be in love with someone else?

2010-11-07T00:34:00.004+08:00

Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles.
Same old tired, lonely place.
Walls of insincerity shifting eyes and vacancy is vanished when I saw your face..
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you.

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me..
The playful conversation starts counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy..
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you..

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you..

The lingering question kept me up
Its 2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, It was enchanted to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon.
I was enchanted to meet you.

Please don't be in love with someone else?
Please don't have somebody waiting on you.

Happy Deepavali?

2010-11-06T23:51:00.008+08:00

Lol yeah as you all know I am not celebrating deepavali but dad's family are since they are hindu..But too bad they are all in KL and not here.. If I were given the chance to really feel how all it really looks and feels like, i would want to!! The sad thing is that I never really been into a deepavali celebration with my indian family side. Its just sad that deepavali never falls on school holiday, plus lama already xbalik kl and meet my grandma and some relatives there..

Since there is a neighbor around my house which happen to be dad's friend is celebrating deepavali, so yeah we were invited to his openhouse. Just ate a lil and went home right away. but before that, mom came up with a family camwhore session since we are actually wearing all those costumes. Mami said "Bukan slalu pakai gini bah,mari lah minta puji ambil gambar!!" so yeah, here is our little cam whoring session =)

Our indian side shows aite? =P and yep its obvious here that i look more to my mom. ah well that is what people keep tellin me, "This is yr daughter? my god she looks like you back when yr on her age now!" =.="

Talkin about stpm, i am doin all the things I can with all the revision. I admit that i am sacrificing my tv time, goin out time, online time and the sad thing is the time i have with my family at home. sorry mom and dad that I have been caving myself in the study room and rarely get to have a quality time with you people specially this week.. i am up when everyone is asleep and sleeping while everyone is happily gigling on the living room watching tv. ='( i am terrified, more to scared with what future might hold for me.. i hope to get rid of all this terrified feeling, im scared :(

and my back hurts reaaaal bad.

We are here to rescue you!

2010-11-05T20:51:00.006+08:00

I am lovin this set of photos so yeah I just wanna post em up in here. And again, credits to subai and her alpha >;D

Staring :

Subai and her Ninja Ability, shes testing her air-kick.

Azel : Er idk what his superpower is, but looks like he is sacrificing himself to the devil..

Me : Errh. Indian Taichi? Im pretty good at poking..

Shahmi tryna absorb all the aura from the forest, to ensure an awesome kame-kame-ha is produce later..

And Sheldon is ready to Karate Chop you people with his stylo-shemboi move.

:)

A real guy. LOL

2010-11-04T02:20:00.011+08:00

I thought that you liked me and yep you've said it right to this face.
But then again you actually got yrself a new girlfriend after a few no's ey?

Sometimes people said no just so that you can prove to them that you are worth it. You dont give them reason to feel safe letting you keep this fragile and vulnerable heart. I never liked you at the first place, that's for sure. But the sad thing here that you didnt even try to convince me by hard. I need someone who wont give up on me.

It's lame no offense if yr willing to take anyone just for the sake of being in a relationship.
I am not the right person by the way.

These type of guys, they never fail to entertain me :)

Figure this out.

2010-10-30T08:14:00.005+08:00

"Siapa sebenarnya aku padamu?
mungkin sama dengan teman lain yang bisa kau buat begitu.
dan bila tiada lagi teman bermain, kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu? "

And how I wish to have the guts to say all of these to you, right to your face.

The 24th day of october.

2010-10-29T15:59:00.023+08:00

Ah well for the sake of updating : Last sunday we went to the zoo sana lok kawi. All the photos for these entry are Suzai's and im just putting some here, (Hope you dun mind XD)

Lets photos sum up how we "love and appreciate" the animals and nature. XD oh and bfore that, thanks for the tag again XD

XD

Apa yg sama? XD

Shel : ahh im goin to heaven..

Lol looks like we were poisoned XD curse shel's cotton candy.

Gonna look back at these highschool moment back next year. Glad to know that good memories are captured, =) I am so goin to miss you people! Wish tha sexy mexican fed isnt sick oh on that day! <=(

Congrats annoying brother!

2010-10-29T14:34:00.012+08:00

Its never too late to post up about my brother's graduation ceremony last 10/10/10 so yeah this is the entry. Before that, i just you people to have a quick glance of my really untidy desktop.

LOL, I know. It had been that way for soooooo long. I dont really have my time to sort em all out but I guess im goin to make time for it today since I really have to transfer all the photos from my baby nikon's memory card to laptop. smua pun full sdah :/

Okay lets get back to the topic here. This is my elder brother. Congrats abang (yai nvr been calling him like that actly =P) you made mum and dad proud and im proud of you too. hope for a better future for you and happy persuading yr masters after this. =)

What I want to highlight here is that - yknow watching all the ceremony from how it begins and how it ends makes you want to experience a convo for yrself. I mean i wanna have my moment too, where mom and dad's proud of myself. Dad kept telling me that my turn is goin to be right after this, after my stpm war. I am not sure what the future might hold for me but im hoping for the best. Insyaallah I hope i can fulfil dad's dream cause seeing them happy is like the only thing that I want to do =)

My spirit was up right after the ceremony but it is kinda sorta went dimmed a lil for a while for some dramatic bulshits and chaotic-in-heart matters but its okay lah im trying to be balance with things. i am not really using my fifth gear now, it is still in gear 1. =(

well photos~ :)

Numb 13 :D

And one day, i will have one of my own.. Amin.

And it seems like the rain is pouring and crying along with my tiny little heart..

2010-10-27T18:10:00.013+08:00

And I wasted a deprived night just for you, and I wish I can turned back the time where I dont have to know on things that I badly want to know. Its tearing me apart, little by little after knowing the one tiny thing that had been buggin on my head for so long finally came to an answer. Why are you acting all lame and cheesy these all along and that it made my steady and severe heart turns effortlessly weak when it comes to you? I love the feeling i had and I hope to feel em all over again cause its the only thing that keeps me goin on in a day, although it isnt much..

I shouldnt be talking to you, replying yr text and pretend I am all okay and fine.
Im not okay, but i'll be fine.

Just be happy, that is all I ask of you.

Undynamic Me.

2010-10-23T06:49:00.004+08:00

It's frustrating to really know that I have limits everything I'm doing specially when it comes to studying. No matter how hard I try or do with sucking all of that knowledge from books, my pointer and grades are still the same, or maybe less or slightly more den the previous one. I got 3.17 for the recent exam and 3.00 on the previous one, and somethin like that too on the previous one. I am like the most unproductive, undynamic and you-name-it person ever ; suda ko ni bida, budu lg.. mcm mna maju oh dlm hidup?!!
How am I supposed to face the world knowing that I am only be able to do one thing forever without being better on it?
Being good enough or the best is a few steps ahead, but if feels like its a thousand miles away. It's unreachable to me.. What am i supposed to do when trying hard doesn't bring anything back? Am I an almost person forever? almost better but impossible to better.

:(

Random.

2010-10-17T14:31:00.011+08:00

A is lady, B is a dude, C is a chick and D is another dude on this crappy entry.

A and B are friends, close friend indeed but B is also close to C. A just realize that she likes B - more than just a friend ; its like he fulfills the laughter, the joys, the feelings that she had been longing for so long.. 'A' never actually questioned herself on what she feels for him cause it did not bug her even bits, as long as she had him in a way that she did not own him 'thaat way'. It is more than enough for her.
A and B - they became more close each and everyday. A is confused with B's intention ; is he only interested on being friends, or is it more than that?
A thinks that it is just her wishful thinkin, so she leave all the things that had been popping on her head ; left unsaid.
And so, one fine day.. B told A that D likes C and he thinks its ridiculous for C to like D back ; Which is true. The way B talked, 'A' unawarely senses jealousy and that it turns 'A's feelings for B off since A and C are also friends. C means so much for A that she's willing to do anything for C.
So 'A' decided to cut all the crap off and isolating herself from all the 'more to come' scenes
its the best thing to do for A, B, C and D.

But A just dont know how and what is the decent way to disappear?

Tumblr inspires me to really create this situation btw =)

current fave.

My friday night.

2010-10-16T18:23:00.005+08:00

Not goin to sum up my weeks that I have been MIA cause it might bore you or somethin with my same old routine. I am just goin to talk about last night. Had dinner with the girls at 1B Grandballroom for our prs dinner.. It was fun with dressing up and such. yknow I havent been dressing up like this since last year, so yeah. Thumbs up to suzai for my make up.. and hair. If ndak, fed and I must be walking in to the ballroom with our same old hair, and without make up. We dnt really have tu semangat mau belawa but its bcs of suzai, lawa jg la kami sikit akhirnya~ ;) reached 1b at 7 and met nicole at nichi doin her make up and hair ; we are all ready to make your jaw dropped, lol =P

Took an amount of pictures with suzai's alpha and nicole's pink camera.. and some at Jay's camera.. I look horrible actually, should be dressing somethin nicer but yeah I dont think its wise to waste money on a small dinner and such.. unless i am officially free from the war lah.. I feel short and fat on it but yknow im trying to not to be all paranoid and such.. Besides that suzai is feeling the way I feel about myself, i am giving her positive vibes by being all positive.. and yep YR THE PRETTIEST PHOTOGRAPHER I HAVE EVER SEEN FYI, I AM BEING HONEST HERE =')

I took some photos from suzai and put it here, so that my blog tidak look dull. Sikit ja lah, for more check sana tmpat suzai =)

=')

Molested by fed~ HAHA

Dusun ka mexican ni!? =P

Oh yeah, dimpled-boy~ =P

Total rant for the time to come

2010-10-09T15:09:00.006+08:00

Well here are all the things that I want to do with my jobless era when my war is over.. Well this is this just a to do's list and I am definitely goin to make sure all these things i have listed is 'possible to be done' on time, its a promise!! well another reason im doin this is so that i am motivated with my studies now since the spirit kinda went a lil dimmed since I got so depressed over some things that I cant spill to people, its helpless.. :( Ah well lets continue on with this.

Okay my first step after the war is over is I am so goin to be everywhere, i mean you will see my face everywhere burnin cash for dresses and tops, i have some savings to burn later.. its not enought by the way, maybe it will lasts only for a day..

Secondly, i am goin to make sure that my gym routine is still on even if im already off and away from my gym buddies and that crappy-yet-memorable-school-gym since highschool is kinda sorta over, we promised to yknow be a member of any gym so that we can still continue working out routine and actually kasi kecik my thighs and ass. and maybe some six pack?~ =P kasi flat tummy lah dulu. haiyo, Haha!
Besides that i wanna make sure that I am up for jogging every morning, or maybe evening. Just wanna make sure a heathly lifestyle so I will make a sexy-figued and a cute lookin lawyer later =P (astaga~) =.='

Learn any language online.. I have so many times and that I think it will be okay if I can speak other language besides english malay and broken brunei. Havent really think of it yet, just a thought that it might be useful in future.

Attend guitar lesson.. this is a definite must cause I have only been learning em online and it sucks cause self-taught was never my thing. so i just want to be good at it and slowly turns to electric guitar later on. maybe im too old for all of these but who cares lah, at least I have somethin I can said 'oh i can play this i can play that' rather than nothing.

It has always been a dream of mine to do some parody and upload em in youtube. ah well its for fun, its just a plan to do if we (subai and fed and the rest) have nothin else to do and need a spice of ROFL on our jobless era. Shahmi maybe got bored of hearing 'ah,you'll beg for my autograph later when I bcome one of the youtube artist' from me.. it might be annoying but nothing is wrong with dreaming bah. Hihi

I havent really yknow go through all the functions of my baby nikon, since suzai has her alpha baby I guess stalking eh I mean photographing session will be right on top of the list. Although I am so much for a 'subject' person, but still I am into all these taking pretty photos of people and scenery but I havent really got the time to travel much and shoot some, well just a little from little traveling last year and early of the year. I am goin to make time for that if anyone is up for and of that, just gimme a call ;)

Get a kickass hair that everyone would be jealous off. Haha this is for sure, im doin this asap, not goin to get my hair all coloured and all, i dont really like all those chemical of colours on my head so yeap :) Its goin to be chemical free hair (ah tapi rebonding duuulu? Lol) well just curling it like ah theres a picture on my phone, and maybe cutting it short after im bored of it and after I loose some weight =P

Roadtrip sama drg shadel!! haha mau pigi genting ka kita tu del? yeah with farrah nataf and thal or sepa2 lah. I am up to it but manatau ada aral melintang, kita pi yang around2 sabah jak la k? XD

An outing with the classmates, mana2 ja la karoke ka apa2.. i just hope that all of us still in touch walaupun telah meneruskan hidup menganggur. I love you people to death, paling awesome lah kmu smua XD <3 oh and another outing lg with nicole, sera, law and ekang.. I miss our forum team! gilak smpai peringkat negeri ba kita. Hebat kan!? =P

This is still unconfirmed cause yknow my dad is not a fan of seeing his little baby being yelled and got all the sweats all over my body. I have always wanted to work, in starbucks or bodyshop. either that two lah and sera nicole ekang or farrah ka yang ada mention about working together tu? tell me ah is it still up? :) Well i will try to rebel lah since im 19. not 9.. he wants to be the only employer in my life, haha dad2..

If I have the chance to tell you how much I like you, I would. Well if you REALLY ask me of how I feel about you. I am liking the idea of you in the future, but not now :)

This will be updated from time to time, so stay tune!

Its always up to me.

2010-10-03T21:57:00.008+08:00

I guess I shall write em all down here on things that I want to do after the huge aftermath of my life. Well I have those motivation and inspiration but it freaks me out so bad that I wont be able to actually do well on it. I need some more catalyst to bring this spirit up since the conversation that i had with my dad terrifies me, dad knows the perfect way to scares me.

Dad : Exam is in about a month time right?
Me : Err kinda, maybe it is less than a month thats for sure.
Dad : Make me proud okay?
Me : *looks down, i was actually grabbing a banana pretending that i never heard a thing like that from him*
Dad : I didnt mean to stress you all out but I just want the best from you. Cause I know you can do this, its your thing. I just want all time that you have sacrificed on this is worth it. Look at the brightsight, what if it isnt worth it?
Me : *Nods* I'll try.. its hard. but i'll do whatever it takes.
Dad : Okay, make me proud k?

"MAKE ME PROUD MAKE ME PROUD MAKE ME PROUD MAKE ME PROUD MAKE ME PROUD"
Ahhhhhhhhhh cant seem to get the words out from my head!!

I'll just write the to do's list on my entry after this lah tak de mood I dah. Dad you count way too much on me and this is frustrating! Its my thing!? You gotta be kidding me!

Happy saturday people!

2010-10-02T20:58:00.008+08:00

Oh before that, i just wanna show a priceless photo of the week >;D $$$

Hihihihihihihiihihihiihihi =P

Okay okay aloha blogspot!
I have always started off my blog entry with Hi and that i have been dead from all these cyberstuff so aint gonna do any intro like that today >;D

I have a life to run and that i can hardly find a moment of sparetime to really update this blog so yeah that is the reason why it gets all rusty in here.. Okay how was my week? Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday sama ja la like regular days. Since its the second week of trial i have been staying back in school till late evening with Khairi, Shahmi and Jen. Oh khairi didnt make it for er a couple days ago so its only three of us with the same old but entertaining routine. I am glad that trial is finally over but seriously the result is so goin to be suck cause i am gettin oh so lazy that I have been deadly sick for three friggin days! from last friday to monday and that I was absent for monday's paper. My pointer mmg cnfrm jatuh la. No more dreaming for 3.0 and above. Heh.. I shall not be lazy after this. tomorrow is the last day of being playful. Gonna shut all the crap in me and concentrate la, insyaallah :)

Ah well Gonna start our gym routine as well and i cant wait for my puching bag session~ I hope you miss me as much as i do for you.

Talking about being sick, it sucks like hell! I never ever really want to be sick yknow cause it made me feel like so terrible and helpless. Its funny to spill it out here but yknow its like im at the second lowest point in my life after my 'chicken pox' sickness 2 years ago. Its indescribable, the pain part, the feeling part.. I do imagine things like what if I die and i didnt get to do this and that.. i started to have a long slideshow of pictures about everythin in my life even a single tiny thing that i never realized it existed right infront of me. I have come to learn that it is important to appreciate :) and yknow its the point where i feel like giving my all in life that what if somewhre near the future somethin bad happened that i didnt get to achieve on what i want. so its better to struggle up and do whatever it takes to get what you have always want and dream off.. :)

Since its saturday, yeah we had extra class.. well its goin to be schoolday every saturdays since STPM IS LIKE LESS DEN A MONTH AHEAD. OMG AM I DREAMING RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT!? Ah went out just now after extra class, i ditched another p.a class for somethin fun so yeah i dragged myselves along with subai, fed, shahmi, jay and fed's bf to cp. karaoke was awesome and we should do it again! ;)

ah gonna add up some more photos that i took from Jay >;D Dang oh i never really like all the photos cause my double chin looks obvious like really.
Is it because of the bad angle or or or its really my tripled chin?

How was you week?

Hai!

2010-09-25T08:15:00.009+08:00

I have exactly 30 minutes to sum up my days that I have been dead from blogspot! I have p.a class with sandy,koay and becky later! ah yeah every friggin saturday, how sad is that? but i have been skippin it for 2 months and i guess that's why karma hits me now that my p.a is so friggin low and it was about to flunk and it aint cool, at all!

Okay where shall I begin? ah cant seem to remember every single details that I did for these past few days of the week but I guess I'll just start this entry off with my openhouse last sunday. Ah i couldnt feel my body, i was so friggin exhausted that people keep coming from morning to night. But im glad that almost all my cool awesome-est buddies came and that made my day =') Thanks for coming ya! And we did a lil photoshoot since 1pm till petang and dang that was super fun and mcm 1000++ pictures were taken that day (well, it feels like =P) and I am 'patiently' waiting for Jeremiah a.k.a JE to upload em all. CEPAT LAH KAU UPLOAD @#$%! Well there's a few lah that I took from nicole. It aint much but im gonna put more if Je is done uploading all ze pictures XD

LOL XD

YAII.

Ah whatesle had happened? My weekly highlighted issue is obviously trials. and yep i dont really know what hits me that I dont feel like workin my ass off, i am not feeling myself. yealah after all you did, the hardwork you did for so long never mad you better enough and satisfied. I am only close to 'the best' but never hits the best that i have always wanted. you know, it sucks being me. I am almost person and its a curse that I have to hold for so long.. maybe i need a real failure to this and that i will work more to it. maybe i would fail for all my trials now, cos this is so un-me that i get to sleep at night already and feelin fine after murdering myself by crappin in papers. I need help, or maybe a motivational spark or advice or somethin ; anyone? i did get a few but it only works for a while..

ah fast forward ; had so much fun with ze girls! pigi beraya rmh afiq yang lama nda diketemui dan dirindui. wakaka! old mate time zaman2 remaja ba. Mau katakan sesat, nda juga but jalam rumah dia mcm kinda sorta complicated sampai masuk kilang tayar lg. maklumlah we are so not used to jalan inanam.. mgkin shadel ja la~ haha drive pny drive mcm 1 jam baru la jumpa rmh dia.. did some catching up and sesi mengumpat. it feels good that im not alone thinkin that this particular someone is weird and an obvious mistake. Behehe =P ah to sum up the day of yesterday ; i had fun talking and catching up about things with my friends ~ :) ah one more thing! Had so much fun laughing that I cant seem to remember when was the last time i was LMFAO-ING with them.. haha! sakit perut ni sampai makanan pun mo tekeluar ketawa! XD INGAT NI GAMBAR?! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I never really like me in this picture but its funny cause for the first time farrah ddnt complain that i actually blocked her face while taking photos. slalunya mesti dia yg kena spotlight. bahahahhahaha! its a change, a good change. matang sda ni anak. you have come to learn that not everyone has to be in the picture specially you :')

RAYA ENTRY.

2010-09-18T08:19:00.010+08:00

I am tooooooo lazy to really update this blog nowadays. Since holidays almost reached to an end, I really have to make use of all the time that I have left to... DO USELESS THINGS! Yep, watching tv, pigi beraya and such. Talking about raya, I HAD SO MUCH FUN in kampung, five days of fun-days. Been playing bunga api, bbq and mercun seludup. Lawa jo~ :D Beraya dari siang sampai malam with the big family, 4 kereta ni pigi satu kampung ke satu kampung yang lain. Lol, for pictures, feel free to dig on my Tumblr but kasi sikit2 lah jga photos here :)

Back to kk, beraya pi rumah subai and Coach Sudirman, I missed ajie's openhouse cause I am still at kampung.. and im sure goin to miss Ekang's openhouse today cause I have class for General Studies today at 10 with Sandy, Becky and Koay. Besides that I do really need to help mom later in the kitchen, to prepare things for openhouse tomorrow. The house is goin to be really pack, the classmates are goin to attack the house plus my brother's friends and my sister's friend at the same time. I cant wait :D Hehe, I am so goin to miss them next year :') <3 Ah talkin about the classmates, last wednesday after coach pny openhouse, we hit OB and the karaoke room to be exact. I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET THAT, its a moment where the all of us went completely insane screaming like there is no tomorrow. Lucky me I have videod a tiny piece of the moment =P Talkin about openhouse tomorrow, I cant wait to spend quality time with shadel, farrah, nataf and thal. its goin to be girls conversation yeah! ;D mau update2 tentang hidup kamu juga nih =P

Starring : Sheldon, Azel, Khairi, Nisa, Jeremiah, Me, Fed, Subai, Ajie and Zai =D
Macam orang gila nie semua. Ahahaa, But too bad time ni semua orang almost habis bateri sudah, tinggal org2 kuat seja =P kasian si Jay sebelah saya ketakutan XD

Let this small amount of pictures sum up my raya =)

Gonna set my sexy goodbye kiss to holidays and A hello to reality :')

Little bits of pieces from the past.

2010-09-18T07:59:00.005+08:00

'I am letting you go.. :)'

I was goin through to somethin just now and i still remember what I replied you after you sent me the text above. 'I am sorry for being an ass these all along' that is the only thing I said and without even considering how would he feels that I give him hopes and such but I dont feel the same way as he does. I know sorry doesnt heal everything but time will, I mean I never really think of how much will it affects you. It is easy for me to articulate my deepest apology, I was being selfish but I am really sorry that it happened. I know you have moved on, same goes to me but the difference here yr moving on and having someone while I dont. I wasnt ready to be in one, and maybe still. That is what I have told you earlier but yr convincing me to let you in... and I did. That is the mistake part where I let you in without even asking myself if that is what I want and what would happen next.. And now ; I have lost a bestfriend that you can talk about almost everything, and a person who appreciates me well than anyone else.

Fall in love when yr ready, not when yr lonely :)

My Kind Of Guy.

2010-09-08T07:22:00.004+08:00

Its 6.30am now and I am goin to hit the books in 30 minutes time, before that.. I am goin to murder the time with this. ah well I am tagging everyone who sees this crap, ;) Buat sj ba kalau kmu mau. ahaha =)

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type on your answers and tag 20 of your friends here in facebook to answer this. Then see what happens. What will happen?

If you're a guy, post this as - My Kind Of Girl.If you're a girl, post this as - My Kind Of Guy.

Do you need him / her to be good looking?- No matter how much I said I want this particular someone to be goodlooking, I always ended up lusting for somethin odd in him that is attractive to me, or somethin on the inside that caught my heart ;) I dont necessarily go for looks but he has to look err normal and 'acceptable' =P Kalau smpai nda tahan tgk muka dia, mcm mna mo di love kan? Wakaka XD

Smart?- I realised that i am easily attracted to dude that is consider smart, always. And I like the part where you can always go study with him later. hehehe

Preferred age?- I dont mind dating someone who is a year younger. Talking about older, I dont really like someone who is too old. Same age sounds.. hm okay?

Preferred height?- Taller of course.

How about sense of humor?- To me, guys can be really charming just only by being incredibly truly funny :)

How about piercings?- Er no please.

Accept you for who you are?- Its a must.

Pink hair?- I prefer originality.

Mushy or not?- hmmm. yes? no ? both ?

Thin or fat?- I dont mind, anything. But not too skinny.

Black, Brown or White? - HAHA, budu. apa2 syak bah. kalau jodoh? wakaka

Long hair or short hair?- Not that long.

Plastic or metal?- As in? o.O

Smells good?- Yummmy, yep.

Smoker?- I dont mind if guys smoke but definitely not my guy ;)

Drinker?- Tripple No.

Girl/Boy-next-door type?- Why not?

Muscular?- Mana2 syak, asal not too much.

Plays piano?- Ok la bah.

Plays bass and / or acoustic guitar?- WOULD BE A BONUS THEN.

Plays violin?- Bah.

Sings very good?- Serenade me?

Vain?- Thats acceptable, but not a bragger please.

With glasses?- Makes us a perfect two. LOL

With braces?- Adoi, mana2 ja bah.

Shy type?- Not that much.

Rebel or good boy / girl- My nature says that i am easily attracted with the goodie goodie ones. :)

Earrings?- Nope.

Mr / Mrs count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?- Such a turn of.

Dimples?- Hehehe. I am a sucker for one, id love to =p

Bookworm? - Yes. hehehehe =P

Mr / Mrs Love Letter?- Theres a limit, dont be too cheesy. that is all i ask for.

Playful?- yess

Flirt?- yess, but only for fun. :)

Painter?- :)

Religious?- WAJIB!!

Computer games freak or Internet freak? - Any kind of freak but he knows the limit

Loyal or Faithful?- Lol, is this a synonym quiz or what?

Good kisser?- would be a bonus.

Loves children?- Yeah!

anyone, feel free to do this. =)

Chasing echoes.

2010-09-06T06:00:00.006+08:00

I thought I have lost my er 'charm' that pimples starting to show all over my face, my flabby tummy is getting bigger and my hair is getting frizzy day by day, plus i have been fringeless for so long, i mean how can I ever feel good with all of that? Besides that, I can hardly recall when was the last time I am out from the house. I have been caving myself, its more like grounding myself away from civilization and people. And yesterday was my very first er pathetic day out.. just to payed up all my bills, the broadband bill and my phone bill, not the shopping outing that you thought off. I went to the Celcom booth on the groundfloor, theres three dude there and one of em is pretty goodlooking la juga.

Dude 1 : yeah? *smiles*
Me : Bayar bill, nah account number saya yg ini. *hands over a piece of tiny paper*
Dude 2 : mari lah aku urus ni bill. Hmm, *pulls the paper from dude 1 and typed my account number on his laptop*
*silence*
Dude 2 : Erm.. pra ka kau?
Me : Hah, Bayar?
Dude 2 : nda bah.. hehe. apa bangsa kau ni ah?
Me : Mau tulis kah??
Dude 2 : Nda lah juga.. pra ka kau?
Me : Erm.. Mama sy dia brunei-cina, dad indian lah.
Dude 2 : Ohh.. patut lawa~ hehe
Me : Ah?
Dude 2 : Semuanya RM86.. Erm.. Kau tinggal mana? Mmg orang sini kah?
Me : *Hands over rm100 note* .... Nda la juga.
Dude 2 : Jadi mana ah rmh kau? *printing out the bills and reading em* Nama kau ka ni? Lain juga kan..
Me : Iya.. hehe
Dude 2 : Ada nombor telefon ni, ko punya?
Me : Nda, bapa sy punya.
Dude 2 : Knp bukan number ko sini? Hehe..
Me : Err..nda tau

Our conversation ended when my brother came and asked me if its done. Trus terdiam ni dia, maybe my brother looks like a gangsta that he handed over the bill right away and he stopped asking me lame questions. And then we left after that

LOL excuse me for this er pathetic post~! Haha. Fact number 10 of me that I am never attractive is tested, and its proven wrong. Astaga, syaitan mana la merasuk aku ni skg -.- I am never a bragger like this ohkay =P

Dont dream it, make it.

2010-09-05T13:24:00.021+08:00

I dont know why I feel like updating this blog daily, since I am not really occupied with schools and the hectic schedule, so why not? :) I am undergoing a pretty less productive weekend I can say, it feels good to have these kind of days at some time but I might as well die with this 'less-occupied' days cause i am so not used to it. Having too much of it can lead me insane, doin productive things would bring me back to sane again. I have been cleaning the house since last friday, I started off with my study room downstairs, it took me err a day to get rid of a sea of crumpled papers so that it is comfortable to the sight of human beings. I tend to have a little quarrel with mom cause I kinda sorta forbid her to clean the room, cause you know.. its too neat and everything is so out of place for me and besides that I can hardly find my own stuff in my own place, it would make me sounds so pathetic that I have to call mom just to ask where is my book, where is my rubber and where is the other half of my assignments?

And moving on, after my study room downstairs.. Its the cleaning time for my room upstairs. It took me a day and a half to finally clean it, it was tiring that I have to push 2 huge and heavy closet back and forth so that I can have a perfect arrangement for all the cupboards and beds in the room. It is finally lookin spacious now and I need to find a nice fury-ish type of carpet for my room just like the one mom bought for the living room. Gonna ask dad to buy em anyway =P Im just done scrubbing the bathroom floor and the wall, I was like wth on earth that just made me do all the scrubbing? Well, thats just me.. Id rather do anything but mostly the cleaning work to keep my mind off temporarily from thinkin, freakin-out and such.
Its just odd and so-so me.

Since this blog looks dull without pictures, I guess some pictures from my phone would brighten up this damp place. Ah enjoy~ :)

Ah~ Priceless looks from them, They were watching something er.. was it scary or disgusting? somethin like monsters eating humans organs kind of movies. We enjoy watching the awfully hilarious view :)

After LOL-ing them (the picture above), we took this. Subai went to the toilet ka this time, haha.

Gym 1#

Gym 2#

I almost got my first very heart attack at night while looking through all the photos in my phone. May god bless you, Sheldon -.-

Dil, bila nie?? Haha

er

Hai

Mari berkenalan? ahahahaha XD

Hai, I am not gay.

But then again...

She is cute.. and so much for my type.

'Hey babe...' Haha XD

And Khairi, memandangkan gmbr ss kau byk betul dlm hp ku.. ku selitkan lah satu di sini~ and sia mengucapkan.. welcome to blogspot~!

I guess thats all for now, the books are sexily roaring and calling my name. TTYL

Terrified.

2010-09-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

You by the light is the greatest find in a world full of wrong,
You're the thing that's right.

You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star, I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I'm in love. And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time, in my only life..

Its the hand talking, not the heart.

2010-09-04T19:42:00.011+08:00

I feel so pathetic and helpless that I couldnt even do a single productive thing since yesterday cause all I do is think, think and think. this feeling is obviously ugly.

I never thought that it would turn to something that is more.. More than I have originally planned and hell, I can do no U-Turn and this is helpless for now.

How can I get rid of all of these cheesy, disastrous and unpleasant thoughts and feelings? Somebody tell me. :(

Waddup?

2010-09-03T15:34:00.007+08:00

Finally its school holidays.. for 2 weeks to be exact but i cant seem to imagine the 'fun' out of it cause yeah another trial is coming exactly in 2 weeks time from now on, which happened to fall on the week right after raya holidays. I have to really vanish my holiday spirit away to ensure that my malas side isnt out because it is the only feeling that gives me a super friggin hard time to deal with.. I have to really start working my sexy ass on history cause its my weakest twistiest and freakiest subject so far that needs an extra touch since its hardcore enough.

Talkin about history, luckily I did counted back my marks for history sejarah asia, tenggara and selatan. It turned out that I actually get 70 marks for the paper and there I go running like a kid lookin for Pn Suzannah in bilik pensyarah. Although it wasnt as good as I always wanted but lately I did some reality check about almost everythin.. Or another term of it is we can call it self-realization and than again, I met this one little word called 'appreciation'.. Appriciation on some little things that happened in life although it isnt much.. Although it didnt turned out as good or as much as you want but the least it can do for you is it gives you the aftermath feeling of workin yr ass off although its not that much. All you gotta do is to do better on the next one and quit ranting, bragging or complaining.

Since its the last day of schoool.. hmm all we did was, nothing except for talking and giggling session with a bunch of people. Shahmi, Jenny and Ves and ada lagi la angkatan sikit-sikit. Haha i am so goin to miss the school's atmosphere next week and the gym session after studying on the evening :')

Since its almost raya, im goin to do my pre-raya wish here.. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin! I am sorry for my own doings that I do hurt some people unintentionally and such.. And sorry if I do say things without even thinking that it offends you people.. Saya menyusun 10 jari tangan dan 10 jari kaki minta maaf.
mum and dad! kasi halal makan minum k. Minta maaf zahir batin, I love you. Hehe~ :)

Lol wth?

I guess its just my wishful thinking.

2010-08-29T08:27:00.014+08:00

Ive been trying to download the STPM time table on mpm website since few hours ago but i dont know what is wrong with this, i mean is theres somethin wrong with the website or something wrong with my broadband line cause it says here download complete but I couldnt even view the friggin document. I know so much for a Tech-Dummy (Well people did actually called me that =P) Moving on.. Dates? The 'massacre ceremony' is on the 23th Nov and it ends on 13th December. And after raya, we only have 6 weeks left to this doomsday.. How fast time flies ey? I should take this seriously like right now and I guess my resting season from exam should stop right at this moment, I will start revising later. I mean after this. I just want to declare the death of me from blogspot, I promise you this is probably the last entry.. or maybe 2nd or 3rd last entries before I am declaring my death =P

Talking about trials, I did okay-ly.. well literally, not the best juga lah.. And I am deadly worried about bm again cause I didnt actually really study on that. So yeah im goin to start revising on that subject, concentrate more on it specially on paper one. And about SS, I crap way too much on that paper since the paper requires us to write 8 essays for six hours straight, and it exhausts my brain and hand as well till at one point where I can hardly feel my wrist anymore.
IT SHUUCCKKZZ <='(

AHH This made my day. Olive you = I love you :)

Well I just hate it when I love you is labeled as an overrated phrase cause of some stupid humans giving away this 3 magical words randomly to people without really feeling it. Well its the hardest phrase for me to really say it even to girlfriends =P I mean I will only say it if only I mean it to them. No hard feelings, I take this matter seriously.
HAHA I am so out of the topic XD

Talking about weekends, its is called 'spending quality time with myself' and 2 days are way too much for me, im just glad that tomorrow is schooldays and I hope teachers would return our trial papers back asap so that I'll know which subject needs the final touch up before im set to sail for the biggest war in my life. My life is so dull that I live, eat, breath for books now.. but its not the right time to complain and brag. Cause I dont really mind since this is only temporary. I cant seem to remember when was the last time im out with friends and such, i am an anti-social chick right now.. But its okay, I just dont want to regret and all I want to do is to make mom and dad proud of me :')
Its either I give up, give in, or give it all I’ve got ; My call.

And I hav lost my mojo in everything.. for writing, for camwhoring, for socializing. and what else? I feel so much content being quiet, dull but happy me right now but when im trying to get my ass back being the old loud bubbly and fun me, im kinda lost and i dont know how to begin, and where to start again...

And yeah I guess yr not interested, Although im feeling all those signs but when it comes to one point where my mind is to rest from running circles around my head about everything, I overthink and i made a simple conclusion here that maybe its just my wishful thinking.. and its maybe nothing. I try to not to think about you as it might bugs my mind and i think it sucks feeling distracted over things like that and such. But the thoughts of ‘nothing’ fades away when I see you again, w
hen you look at me
and the way you make me feel when I am with you..

Okay im crapping again!

Oh, You said im heartless macam kayu? Put this on yr mind, Sama ko syak tu. Jangan la ko macam2 mo ungkit2 ni benda lagi. Suda break, break la bah. Kalu ko panas ni, ketara la stalking org kan sampai blog pun mo kurik2? Bilang orang clubbing apa segala.. ko budu ka apa? Ko la ulung cakap aku gitu, nda pernah aku berminat smua tu benda which is obvious.. LMAO
Bkn ko ka tu actually? Bangga lagi tu, such a hypocrite.

Toodles, <3

Lets talk about my type.

2010-08-27T20:15:00.008+08:00

I have come to a term where guys can be really charming and attractive to me only by being incredibly funny and true to me.
And yep that is what I like about you, although you have a lot more to offer but thats the most appealing quality in you and its not for you to know =)
=.=
Okay back on what Im trying to tell here. I have been watching gazilions of videos on youtube and I have heard about Dave Days before but I never really got the chance to watch his parody which I can assure you a 100% cure for depression and sadness =P
He isnt that good looking for me but but but look at his videos.
This is what I called love at the first click of 'play' button! =P

Oh and take a look of his video, another cooler shitz called 'if I were a girl' ;)

Temporary excitement.

2010-08-27T14:33:00.006+08:00

And I am finally free from another sleepless night where I have to got up in the middle of the night till its dawn to study. I know the terms of sleepless had always been resembles to me, not because I have this somekind of odd sleeping habit that I fell asleep in the class or something, its because the difficulties that I had while trying to get myself to sleep.. or maybe I exaggerate a little bit here, I mean only sometimes not all the time. I am not insomniac, I just prefer and comfortable calling it sleeping disorder.. er yeah :)

What I have been up to? nothing interesting except of pimples starting to show on my forehead and my flabby tummy is getting bigger day by day. I am having hard times dealing with my body weight that it never decreases down but stays that way for like forever and and I am hating myself for that. I am eating less and work out a lil but nothin works and changes, it sucks.

I feel like ranting here but I have nothing to rant on mind, life is treating me okay so far. I have been avoiding the ups and downs, annoyance from the world and such. Isolating myself from the world that I used to live and I am feelin comfortable with my less brighter and hectic site of the world that im in. But it feels awkward when I tried to get myself back to er yknow socializing, talking to people and such.. I am not used to it anymore, how odd is that?

I guess im ending this dull and pointless post due to the less entertaining contains and it might bore the hell out of you.

Is anyone reading my crap anyway? I just wanna know >;)

You will never know.

2010-08-13T22:04:00.009+08:00

Its not that I am playing hard to get and all.. I know it is annoying to some of you that I build up a barrier between a sea of people that I know and I dont.. And honestly, I have no keen interest on getting myself involved with those new people around, its like I am so much and more content being around my circles of people that I apparently know and comfortable with, and not with new people that I just met and barely knew.

And dont go cursing all over me if I am not opening myself up with er yknow, I didnt reply yr texts or talk to you or response at any annoyingly cheesy flirty conversation. I just want you to know that I have a very sad life and ugly experience when it comes to dating cause those people that I really liked have never actually liked me back or it didnt work out well at the end, So yeah dont bother fixing the fact okay! :P

I am lame, rant over.

I am not looking for another you but apparently someone nice for me is waiting at the other side of the road..

2010-08-13T17:08:00.005+08:00

I have been dead from blogspot for a month and now i am back! HAI :D
First of all, selamat berpuasa to all muslimin and muslimah (ngam ka tuh?) and jgn malas2 terawih yer XD

Talking to what I have been up to.. The 'cool' stuffs like school and assignments of course and studying for my upcoming trials which is goin to be next week. Besides that, gym on the evening of course! I miss goin to the gym already since its fasting month and I dont have much energy to even 'make out' with the punching bag.. Maybe goin to just do some cycling and other light workout next week. Life is so dull without having my 'punching bag' session in a day. Its like a medium for me to transfer all the annoyance, hates and dislikes that I have absorbed from people around. HAHA

Talking about trials.. I am almost done with General studies paper one.. Left Pertubuhan Bangsa-Bangsa Bersatu and NAM to read.. and some flippin through for Makamah-Makamah and Dasar-Dasar dalam negara. I hope it can be done by tomorrow cause I am working my ass off for Sejarah asia tenggara, timur, selatan paper and Tamadun Dunia paper on saturday and Tamadun Islam and Sejarah Malaysia on Sunday. And talking bout Bm, I am aiming for at least C since its my weakest subject for now.. A c- for bm always brought down my pointer like soo soo low that I only get 2.8 for last semester exam..

Heh talking about 'him'.. and yeap my last wish was granted when I hope for him to show up before he actually leave.. He came to me and yep a proper goodbye had been made and I am living my life in peace now that I finally accept the fact that yr leaving.. Well this story is so yesterday since this happened like a month ago.. But anyway, goodluck in yr future undertaking ya! :D I honestly miss your odd robotic smile and the way you look at me.. :')

And okay I have nothin else to rant. oh maybe goin to put some pictures of Subai's birthday bash here :D My soul sistah turned nineteen like a week ago :') yr old now XD

Is it possible for you to keep on knocking and knocking my heart again untill I actually let you in? -M

Love me, Jaded.

2010-07-25T07:27:00.007+08:00

My eyes are like so painful from the screen that I have been staring at since 3 hours ago, I guess that I need new glases? Besides that, I am prone to headache nowadays that a tiny glare might irritates me. I guess everyone realized that I will eventually walk to the classroom door and close em if its widely open. What is more irritating that I can hardly sleep when I see any lights when I was about to dream myself off to the lala land. It wakes up my brain cell and there it goes, I couldnt sleep that my mood for sleeping went away. Sad :(
Nah I am not a vampire, I am so much comfortable at the darker side :)

Trials in about 2weeks time and I am so not ready!! I am not ready for General Studies, Sport Science, Bahasa Melayu and Sejarah(!!!!) .. I am more freak out with history subject this time. 4 effinly thick books to read for that one subject since it is divided to four huge section; Sejarah Asia tenggara, timur and selatan , Tamadun Dunia, Tamadun Islam, and Sejarah Malaysia. I AM SO DEAD!! Bm lagi, adui I hope that I dont get C- this time cause it brings down my pointer and its frustrating.

I need a constant motivation that I still dont have until today, I have been looking around for anything that has its quality and tendency to be my persistent inspiration for me to survive this 3 months time to stpm. I am easily distracted that I hate myself for that.
What is wrong with you Megaa?

I miss seeing you around that I have been seeing you in people around. Pathetic much but at least I am being honest. I will never let you go if we get to meet again in future, You left once and I did whisper this to myself that if yr back, I will take it as a sign. And you actually went back but I was too stupid that i didnt make the best out of the time left. And for years to come and if we meet again. I will take that as a sign and you know what I am goin to do :)
Ew I sound like a cougar now -.-
But who knows what future might bring to me, its just a crappy ranting session.
Never take this seriously ;)

Ok toodles!
Btw I saw "Ipoh, Perak" on my Live Traffic Feed. Claire.. I miss you oh oh so much :(

I AM SELLING OF SOME OF MY TOPS AND DRESSES :)

2010-07-25T07:22:00.002+08:00

I just cleaned out my closet and I now have dresses and tops to find new homes for. Besides that, I need extra pocket money of course, that is why I am selling em off. All of them are still in its perfect condition. =)

Private message me or simply comment on my fb wall if yr interested at any of those :)

Some of the outfits are pre-loved and some of em are never been worn.

WELL, THERE ARE MORE TO COME :) x

Visit my fb page for more!

Whenever you're around, i smile =)

2010-07-16T13:47:00.013+08:00

Its friday finally and what a week! Loads and loads of things goin on and its a very exhausting yet exiting week, time flies too fast I cant deny on that. So yeah I finally decided to retake my muet exam cause my result sucks that I only get band 3 higher. A few more marks to band 4 and its frustrating, dont you think so? They told us that the marking format has literally changed and we thought its goin to be less stricter than the year before. False alarm here that it is actually getting way and way more stricter and tougher that only one person get band 5 for this year :X I was like wth, only a person out of the people who took muet in the school? Well yeah its my fault that I didnt take all of these things seriously, decided to retake right after I had the result on my hand.. plus with all these bigger and wider imagination on mind of my dad keep on repeating these lines over and over again.. 'yr brother get band5 and you only get band3? What is so hard about muet? He can do it.. why cant you do better?'.

Fuck comparison.

I was being so emo for all the postponed works, assignments and presentations that I kinda-sorta left for forum practices and the days I have been missing on action for the competition. I was being over-negative that I couldn't do all of that since I am deadly sick yesterday, I mean like DEADLY SICK. So I decided to swallowed up some pills and rest my head and off to the lala land on the evening. I think way too much and its annoying.. Woke up around 7 and start constructing my presentation first and some other works, I even sort em all out according to its due date. I am almost done with most of the presentation around 11pm. I wanted to sleep but you know that I do really have some kind of sleeping problem right. I can hardly sleep at night if I took a quick nap on the evening. So I continued on with the rest till 3am somethin and went to sleep right away. Sometimes I wonder what makes you people sleep so long? I am in need of tips on that here.

I havent seen him in a week and I thought the idea of moving on is the best for the time being but I have to say here that I am goin to put all the blame on you that you make it harder for me to do so. It is sweet that you actually notice that I am hiding myself away and its cute to know that you actually miss me. A plain and odd move.. or a simple gesture from you made my day :)

Somehow, I guess I will get through the phrase of you eventually, I am not putting any hopes on you for now. I guess you should know that =)

Urg maybe goin to cp tomorrow, my sister constantly stressing me to watch a movie with her in the cinema. I am not one of those kaki-wayang people but since she agree with the idea of bribing me a karaoke room for an hour, why not? ;) But hopefully jadi la since my schedule is fully packed from morning to 1pm, school some other things.

My dear sidekicks, all the best with the upcoming exams! Sama2 we struggle,
I love you all very very much :') <3