I am surrounded by happy people and I feel so alone at times for the disparity of emotions that I am having. Well, I am perfectly fine and grateful with everything. I wasnt being emo for some sort of things and theres nothing gigantic that I can dwell of, I am fine. Its just that im in the mood to rant about whats on the inside, yes. Its yr lucky day my blog :)
Back to what I am saying, yeah I am surrounded by happy people, and I feel so tiny that sometimes I have to laugh, smile and cheer along with them on what makes them happy. They are so lucky that they have bigger things in their box that makes them so excited about every tomorrow and I have none.. Mine is as-always empty.
Honestly saying, I am sincerely happy for them.. its just that I have come to one point that I do realized that I have been cheering for people about their happy things in their life. But I never get to cheer for my own. It is cause I dont really have those things that they have.
Its like I have to cheer for my brother that he is what my mom and dad hope him to be, I have to be happy that people around me are always smarter and I am just.. the same, I have to be happy that my friends are happy with their very very perfect guy, I get to feel amazed that people get to choose or decide things for themselves about almost anything, I have to cheer people for their talent that I wish to have but I dont, and I have to be happy that everyone get to smile prettily, happily, joyfully,. Well theres so much more that I am happy for, but for once I just hope to be happy for myself.
I honestly admit all of these things do make me feel bad but I am used to it actually :) Just telling. And no, dont get it wrong. I wasnt being selfish. This is just another ranting session.
Its like im in a sea of people but I still feel so alone, its like even if im laughing gigling like there is no tomorrow but I am crying on the inside.. you know that kind of feeling?
I guees I am done.
Gotta watch few more Mblaq Idol Army.
KTHNXBYE :)
This is my period talking.
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